New Year's Resolutions

In 2007 my resolution was to not buy any new clothes for a year. It was not an easy feat but I did it. Socks and underwear were considered necessities so I bought those but I didn't buy any new clothes or shoes for a whole year. It was a year of learning things about myself regarding shopping. I'm not a shopper anyway but it was fun to start shopping again a year later.

In 2008 I decided not to shop at Wal-Mart. Ever. Again. Hate that place. I kept it up for 2009 so I haven't shopped there since Dec. 27, 2007. I shop at Target and other places. People say Target is more expensive and it is. But it is higher quality. And because things aren't so cheap, I don't buy more of something - "Oh look, there are some neato plastic ladybug placemats at Wal-Mart. Since they're only $.99 I'll buy 24 of them!"

So what to do for 2010? Well, one thing I haven't done much of this year is serve others. I've been so focused on taking care of my mother who has had myriad health problems, that doing nice things for others has taken a back seat. I haven't liked it. In November someone on freecycle needed help with food. Both husband and wife had lost their jobs. I emailed the mom and asked what they needed, then filled that need. It made me feel good and reminded me of what I hadn't been doing.

So that is my resolution. I'm going to start giving more. My mother will still be a recipient for sure, but I've always loved taking treats to neighbors, tending my Parker grandbabies, writing thank-you's to deserving people, and even, on occasion, paying for someone else's groceries in line ahead of me. I like doing things that make me feel good while helping someone else. Because I have been given much, I too must give. That's my resolution. Hope it sticks.

A beautiful day!

I loved Christmas this year more than in year's past. It was unhurried, scaled-back and simple. It had to be that way because Riley's been sick and I've been in charge of creating a schedule of caregivers for my mom for two weeks (and take care of her too, before, during and after Christmas). Those two things alone made me rethink if I really needed to decorate all out (I didn't), give neighbor gifts (I didn't except for a couple), buy a lot of gifts (I didn't and a lot of what I did buy I got online and it came straight to my door) or cook a lot. I didn't need to cook many goodies because of the mound of stuff that came to us from loving friends and neighbors. Next year I'm going to look for a good excuse to scale back again. Maybe that's just a good thing to learn, for whatever reason.

“Maybe Christmas,” he thought, “doesn’t come from a store. Maybe Christmas … perhaps … means a little bit more!” --How the Grinch Stole Christmas

Riley in pain

After a five hour visit to the ER last night it was determined Riley has a kidney stone about the size of New Jersey. It's really 5 mm which is the size of a raised number on a credit card. That's pretty big when you consider where it is and where it has to come out. I don't think men dilate. It's really hard to see him in pain. He rarely takes any kind of medicine and he is rarely sick. So seeing him writhe in pain and pop percocet every four hours is a new experience. The timing of this is sort of fortunate - classes and finals are over, but we have/had plans for Christmas - Park City tomorrow night with college friends, which probably won't happen, dinners here, my mom here for Christmas, the Nelson family here for brunch after Christmas, etc. I hope the little bugger makes his way down and out soon. I named him Spike. I guess he could be Rocky too.

Mary or Martha? Christmas gift giving

Sometimes I wish I could be more Mary. I want to tell the Martha in me to stop making lists -- to just go sit and relax, visit, listen and enjoy the moment. It's a hard thing to admit. I do love relaxing. I love visiting with family and friends. I love listening to those who have good stories to tell or who might even need advice. I love enjoying special moments with my husband, kids, family and friends. But I get so caught up in the planning, organizing and doing, the needful things, the food that will be eaten, the clean up, all the details that MAKE special moments happen that it diminishes those very moments sometimes. I'm going to try to be more Mary.

I decided I wasn't going to decorate the Christmas tree this year. I just haven't had time and I looked at the tree with the lights on (thanks Amy) and thought, good enough. But it isn't enough. It's one detail I want to take care of because a decorated tree makes me happy. It makes my heart happy. As I unwrap each ornament I remember where it came from, who made it or who gave it to us and they each have their own little story.

I'm also rethinking neighbor gifts this year. Those who know me well know I don't like getting things I have to dust. It's my least favorite chore. I also like Christmas treats but there get to be so many throughout the weeks before Christmas that we are sick of them cluttering the counter and adding inches to my waist. I want to tell my neighbors I love them in a different way. I'm going to send cards with notes that tell them we love them and because we love them we're not giving them something to dust or eat. We're donating an amount of money in their name to the local food and care coalition. With about 20 families to give to, this could amount to around $100 - money the coalition needs, not dustable items and pounds on hips.

I'm wrapped in my favorite sister-in-law quilt watching it snow outside. Maybe I can be a Mary.

I love this time of year!

I'm ready for the holidays. I told someone that yesterday and they looked so surprised like I was really ready for the holidays. I meant ready to enjoy the holidays, not as in "all the presents are bought and wrapped, my house is decorated and I can sit back and enjoy" the holidays. I'm not sure when I'll have time to do all the things I normally love this time of year. But I am ready to enjoy the sights - lights on houses and lighted Christmas trees in people's front windows, the sounds - I now officially listen to Christmas music, and the smells - well, I can walk into a bakery now and then. Or maybe even create some yummy smells myself. I love this season. I love how people are nicer to each other, how they greet each other. I'm going to say "Merry Christmas" a lot - I know store clerks can't say it but I can and will. It truly is the most wonderful time of the year.

What I am thankful for

Before the busy-ness of today and tomorrow hit (Thanksgiving dinner is at my house), I want to share what I am thankful for. I wrote a gratitude list a couple of posts ago and they still stand. Except for Halloween candy which I am now weaned off of. All candy for that matter.

I'm grateful for life. To get up every morning and breathe. To look out our big sunroom windows at the trees and mountains. I'm grateful for my cats that bookend me on my bed and keep me warm - usually Guida and Heiva. Stella stands on my chest to wake me up. Lupita is just a fruffy gray puddle. Cats are a nice invention.

I'm thankful for the gift of organization. Sometimes it's bothersome but most times, like now as we get my mom's house ready for her, it's a blessing. I've spent 16 hours at her house the past few days and many areas are now organized and ready for her. I'm thankful for Jan, Jason, Brandy, Amy and Paul who helped with the whole process to ready her house. And Comcast and Jay the plumber. I'm thankful for them too.

I'm thankful for food. There's a turkey in the fridge (thanks Jan and NuSkin), potatoes, yams, and other foods ready to prepare. I'm thankful Riley has a good job that sustains our family and for my own job that adds to our income. And that we both love our jobs. Love. our. jobs. I'm thankful for pecans and that we learned how to make and eat pecan pie while we were in Texas. It's the best. But we will still have a pumpkin pie too. And a keylime because that's Andrea's request.

I'm thankful for each family member in the Wheeler and Nelson families. From the tiniest new twin boys born yesterday to Ryan and Wendy Wheeler to the newest baby girl in the Nelson family (the first girl in 23 years) to my 80-year-old mother, I have the best family ever. Riley and my kids are my life - I think they know my life revolves around them. My sissy is one of my best friends. I couldn't ask for a better sister. My brothers are all caring, giving men who lend their love and support in a trying time. My mom is my hero and I love her dearly and suffer along with her as she ages, sometimes with extreme difficulty. And for my "other" family - the Parkers. I get to be grandma Kaye to Logan, Abby, Parker and Jane and a new baby boy next spring. While they aren't my own they give me good practice and I adore each of them. And their parents. And their grandparents who need to come to Utah for a visit.

I am thankful for the gospel of Jesus Christ. It is through his Atonement I have all of these blessings. He gives me new chances every time I make a mistake and all I have to do is remember him. He is my anchor and what drives my thoughts and actions. I love him.

Happy Thanksgiving to anyone who read this!

No rest for the weary

It seems odd to be posting a blog in the middle of the night but I can't sleep. I keep waking up with all the things that need to be done at my mom's house on my mind. She is well enough to go home, or will be in a couple of weeks, we hope. And we are thoroughly grateful for that. But that entails hiring someone to live with her. If that isn't daunting enough (the interviewing, checking references, going over details about her needs, etc.) there is the work to be done to get her house ready. She needs a better sleeping arrangement (not a couch like she used to sleep on) so we need to clear out the TV room and move a bed in. The bed we are going to use in currently holding about 100 sweatshirts (I'm not kidding). So it has to be moved downstairs. Another bedroom needs to be cleared out for the live-in help. So does a bathroom. If anyone knows my mom's house, they know it is piled high with not only sweatshirts but floral arrangements, books, shoes, CDs, blankets, books, puzzles, dishes, more clothes, knickknacks and more books. These all have to go somewhere to make room for the new help.

The kitchen needs to be cleaned and stocked with food. Safety bars need to be installed; so do towel bars. Clutter needs to go, pathways need to be cleared and drawers need to be cleaned out. Curtains need to be washed, a TV cable installed for upstairs, new items need to be bought that will help my mom see better: a big number phone, a magnifier, an easy to turn on lamp, etc.

It's no wonder I can't sleep. And yes, I can ask for help and I will. But somebody's got to get the ball rolling.