My Mother's Last Days - Sept. 27, 2015

It's surprising my mother is still here on earth. It seems as though she should have passed weeks ago, her body is tiny. She barely eats. Her clarity of mind only frequents us on occasion. Yet she persists. I wonder if there is a goal she subconsciously has, like living until Oct. 1 - her wedding day. Or knowing her children are all right with each other. Or is it just a battle she'd rather not wager - her spirit is ready to go but her body isn't. Death is a curious thing. It isn't convenient but has to be entertained when it arrives.

Life is about change. We tumble through childhood, rush adulthood way too soon as teens, then spend the rest of our lives making our way as spiritual beings having a human existence. Sometimes bodies leave earth in nearly perfect states - like my niece Stacie and my friend Dave Henson. Other times bodies are crippled and broken or have worn out like the aged. All involve change at all seasons of life. We grow from tiny babies to adults. We gain and lose weight, hair and sanity. We reach peaks of human ability then start the slow decline from those peaks. Change is constant and good if we are changing for the better.

We are moving through this life to get to the next. Some get there faster than others. Some languish, like my mom, but eventually get there. What is on the other side of the veil? Is there sadness in heaven? Do we look back at earth and mourn the loss of that period of time in our eternal journey? Or are we glad it's over and we see with new spiritual eyes, the glory that lies ahead? The joy ahead must be staggering.

Are we busy helping those still on earth and if so, how are we helping them? Do we whisper in their ears or appear in their dreams to urge them to do all that is required for good? Who is whispering in my mom's ears? She has mentioned my dad and her parents, her brother and her friend Paula in the past few months. Are they taking a break from heavenly duties to usher my mom through this difficult time? They must know the day of her departure. They must know the reasons she is still here.

I seek comfort from a loving Heavenly Father. I pray for patience and to be prepared when the day comes my mother will take her final breath. I've said goodbyes. I've held her and sobbed out my love to her. I want better for her than what she has right now - she deserves to be free from this earthly body, to walk and see again. To laugh again! She has been my best friend for 55 years. She will be my mother throughout eternity as I am sealed to her and my dad. I miss her already but I know when she's truly gone, I will feel a void like no other. Yet my faith in Jesus Christ and His gospel will fill that void. I have that sure, comforting knowledge and it heals my wounded heart.