Thursday, December 23, 2010

A good approach to Christmas

So, I'm 50 years old. I've learned a few things in my trips around the block and some of them involve Christmas. There were years I got caught up in the madness, made innumerable plates of goodies for neighbors, started shopping in July - hiding presents all over the house and then buying more because I didn't write down everything on my never-ending list, made sure my three kids had the same number of presents to open, sometimes hovering around 20-25, sent hundreds of Christmas cards, all with a hand-written greetings on them and decorated every corner of the house with some Christmas-y knickknack, all of which had to be boxed up and put away just days after Christmas.

Over the years I got smart. Here are ways I enjoy Christmas without all the hassle:

1) I don't start buying until after Thanksgiving. No, I don't shop on Black Friday. That's part of the madness and I want no part of it. I shop online or in stores gradually collecting items before Dec. 24.
2) I don't buy tons of stuff. I think about a few things each of my kids and Riley would like and buy them. Think about it. If you give your kids 20 items to open (or even 10, 15 ...) they are really only going to remember maybe 2-3 of their favorite gifts. So give them 2-3 things. Then they'll remember all of them. (And the byproduct is less stress, less bills, less wrapping, less stuff to store, break, step over, pick up, etc. PLUS being able to reinforce the real meaning of Christmas which has nothing to do with piles of stuff!) C'mon - are underwear or socks really a "gift"?
3) My Christmas greetings are sent online, except for about 15 to people who don't have internet. They are all over 80. It took me about 30 minutes to send 157 emails yesterday with a letter attached that I had written a couple of weeks ago.
4) Neighbor gifts. Hmmm. I still like to give these but to a select few. And I don't think that just because someone brings a goodie or gift to your door you MUST reciprocate. It's not a contest and it doesn't have to be fair - tit for tat. If anyone is keeping score and you don't get a treat the next year, oh well. Less sugary treats.
5) I also don't get out all the Christmas decor. Some years we have just a Wizard of Oz tree. Those ornaments are in their own box so they are easy to get out. Some years I put all the family salt dough ornaments on (like this year). And there are select items around the house that are familiar and I love. But there are way more full boxes of Christmas stuff in storage during the holidays than there are empty ones. The one thing that must be set up is the nativity scene. It was my grandparents and I inherited it when they both died. It's wonderful and I should really keep it out all year.

So the past few days, in between stops to pick up a few last minute items, I've read, soaked in the hot tub, watched the birds in the bird feeder, had breakfast with friends, taken stuff to DI, helped a sub-for-Santa family, watched several movies, had long phone calls with family and friends and slept. I spent the entire day in my pajamas a couple days ago! Yes, this is Christmas. Christ gave us the gifts of family, time on earth and His gospel. He is the gift.

Saturday, November 20, 2010

A special day

Amy has a beautiful ring on her finger. More importantly she has a wonderful fiance! These two characters are quite the match. They met in one of Amy's classes last January where Todd Smith was a TA. They became friends but couldn't date because he was grading students' work. So they waited until class was over in April. Or almost. They quickly became inseparable and on Nov. 11 he asked if he could come and talk to Riley. I loved hearing him say he had "fallen" in love with Amy and wanted to marry her. The fun part was, she didn't know he was talking to Riley and led her to believe, for a few days, that he still needed to do that so a proposal wasn't imminent.

They had picked out a ring together but she didn't think he had picked it up. He hadn't. Because he was so busy he had his mom in Bountiful pick it up from Salt Lake for him and drive it down for a hand off in American Fork. On Monday, Nov. 15, amidst all the craziness of classes, projects and work, he led her on a scavenger hunt for "dinner" because she had done that for him in the summer. She was oblivious there was more to the evening than just dinner because he surprised her with a song and a down-on-one knee proposal. She texted me, "YOU ARE SO SNEAKY!"

She might be walking on clouds but this mom is too. Prayers have been answered for sweet Amy. And we couldn't have picked a better man for her to marry. He's the real deal.

Thursday, November 18, 2010

10 years

My dad died 10 years ago today at 9:10 a.m. I was with him when he died. So was my mom. She sang, "there is sunshine in your soul today," changing the words a bit here and there. It was a peaceful, spiritual moment to see him pass. He had suffered for 19 months, paralyzed from a snowmobile accident April 12, 2009. He didn't like life much during those 19 months but in the last day or two of his life, he told me he had to just be ok with what he could do and not be so upset about what he couldn't. I believe once he showed he had learned that he was then allowed to leave his earthly existence.

I love my dad. He was a great man. He taught me many wonderful things like how to work - weed the garden, mow the lawn, fix things using any kind of tool and problem solve. He taught me how to play - snowmobile, waterski, play HORSE (basketball), put together jigsaw puzzles, play nertz. He knew a lot and was an authority on many things. He was an avid reader. He created beautiful wood-carved treasures. He got tickled at himself when he surprised someone with something he'd made and saw their reaction.

While things didn't turn out the way I wanted them to with my dad (I moved here from Texas thinking we'd build things, snowmobile, etc. but he got hurt before we got here), I had some treasured moments with him in his last 19 months. We had conversations we would never have had because we were thrown together, me caring for him. There were no work or play distractions, just talking.

I'm thankful for my dad. I'm thankful I was with him when he died. I'm thankful for everything he taught me. I miss you dad.

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Happy Birthday Aileen

Today is a lovely woman's birthday - Aileen Larsen Nelson, my mother-in-law. She's been gone for 24 years and I only knew her for about seven years but I will be eternally grateful she and Winston brought my wonderful husband Riley into the world. He, like I, is the baby of his family - Randy, Rick and Riley - the three boys. He had a wonderful childhood. So did I. He treasures the gospel. So do I. He has a crazy streak. I am very quiet and shy. Heh heh. We have the same work ethic, sense of adventure and love of life. A match made in Logan. Or Brigham City.

My first memory of Aileen came several weeks after Riley and I started dating. It was the first weekend of October 1979. Riley and I were living in Logan, he in the downstairs apartment of a duplex, me upstairs. We met the first day I drove into the complex on Darwin Avenue in my red CJ5 Jeep with white pinstripes, two gas tanks and an 8-track player (I loved that jeep). We soon started hanging out a lot and he invited me to go stay at his house in Brigham City for the weekend. The weekend's activities would include going to his mission reunion and dinner Friday night, duck hunting Saturday (oh, joy) and going to general conference Sunday where he would translate conference talks into Tahitian. We pulled up in front of the Nelson house at 211 North 300 West in Brigham City that Friday afternoon. We went in and I met his mom: tiny woman, big smile, gray hair piled in a bun on her head and big ball hangy earrings. We chatted a bit, then Riley's dad got home and we met. He was probably dressed in a jumpsuit (his standard outfit), had gray hair and '50s style men's glasses - you know, the ones with the heavy black frames. They were both happy to meet me and I them.

Riley took off to talk tools or ducks or whatever with his dad. I was left with Aileen. I'm not sure how long we were downstairs before she said something like, "come upstairs and I'll show you some things ..." Those "things" were kept in a hope chest (her hope, I think) and were baby booties she'd made for Riley's future children and a temple apron for Riley's future wife. While I was a little shocked she was showing me these things the first time I met her, the wheels were already turning in my head that he just might be the one. Anyway, I ended up with them about ten months later. The bigger prize, of course, was Riley, but I got a pretty good deal in the end, apron, booties, mother- and father-in-law, the Nelson name, and now, at this point, 30 years of fun and happiness.

Thanks Aileen and Happy Birthday. I love you. I'm glad you didn't scare me off.

Friday, October 15, 2010

10 things I love about fall

Fall is not my favorite season. I think summer and spring rank above it a bit. But I do love fall and here are some of the reasons why:

1) I love the smell in the house when I turn the furnace on for the first time - kind of a dust burning smell. I know, weird.
2) Getting my warm clothes out. I love turtlenecks, vests and cardigans.
3) Crunching dead leaves. I like the sound.
4) The colors of the leaves on the mountain - the brilliant reds, yellows and oranges have got to be one of God's greatest thought processes brought to life.
5) Halloween decorations. I don't decorate much at my house anymore but anything with ghosts, pumpkins and black cats are fun. I don't like the bloody, crazy stuff, not that it's scary - it's just not fun to look at.
6) Soups and stews. I love clam chowder, squash soup, chicken noodle soup, beef stew, split pea soup ... mmmmm. And fall is the best time for them. With cornbread or big fluffy rolls.
7) The crispness of the morning air. While I know this is a precursor for really cold morning air in a few months, I do love the chill in the air in the morning.
8) Fuzzy blankets. You just can't curl up in the summertime with a fuzzy blanket to read, watch TV, whatever. But you can in the fall. I love my fuzzy blankets.
9) Slippers. Same as No. 8 - can't wear them in summer but love them in the fall.
10) Thoughts of holiday fun. I'm not ready for Christmas or even Thanksgiving but I like to think ahead a little to make tentative plans. And just the thought of eating a full turkey dinner makes my stomach smile, even today when it's not at it's happiest.

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Goodbye old van

We bought a one-year old blue (sort of purplish) van in 1997 from our friends the Kriese's when we lived in Texas. It was a wonderful car. It had a nice speaker system, power everything, a little gauge that said how many miles we could go on the gas in the tank and what the temperature outside was. It seated seven and the rear seats could come out. It had all kinds of drink holders and nook and crannies. I loved that van.

We went on many adventures in our van - to Nauvoo with our friends the Pearces, Parkers and Hodgkins. Up through Texas, Minida, (Mt. Ida), Ark., Liberty, Blue Springs and Far West, Missouri, Iowa, Illinois - Nauvoo and Carthage, and back down through Hannibal, St. Louis and Muskogee, Oklahoma. Each place as well as the drive up and back holds special memories, all experienced in our blue van.

We drove it to Houston and Corpus Christi for fun with friends. We took trips to Utah, one in the dead of winter where the gauge went to 13 degrees below 0 - the lowest it had ever been. We got a flat tire in Monticello on our return trip and had to stay overnight, putting us behind in our trip and making us miss Mesa Verde (which Riley and I finally visited summer of 09.) We hauled tile, lumber, groceries, kids, cats, turtles, fish and spiders. The critters rode with us from Austin to Utah when we moved here. The Parkers welcomed all of us, even the furry ones, into their Colorado home for an overnight stay on our long journey to a new home.

I have pictures of the odometer turning over 55,555 miles in the drive through of a McDonald's on William Cannon in Austin. That was about 115,000 miles ago!

It's funny how an inanimate object can become a member of your family. That van didn't cause much grief in the repair department. We had a few things here and there to fix but overall, it was a trustworthy, solid car. And Riley thinks it was the best, most comfortable ride of any of our vehicles. It was smooth.

For the past year or so it has sat mostly undriven. When we bought Riley's Tacoma two years ago, I took over the Highlander. I tried to sell the van back then but with a tanked economy no one wanted a van with so many miles on it. Amy drove the van quite a bit but finally it started sitting more than being driven. Then, in August, Amy drove it and the AC died. We debated on fixing it - $1,100. We weren't sure we could even sell it for that much if we fixed so we decided to give it to the Kidney Foundation (like we have several other cars.) In a last ditch effort, I thought, let's try to sell it. Our mechanic friend Paul suggested $800 so I put a sign on it last Saturday. Fifteen minutes later someone called and wanted to see it. Paul said, oh, oh, maybe you could have gotten more for it. But then we sold it to people we knew through Amy's high school friends and they said what a blessing it was they were getting it for that price. We could have used a few more hundred dollars but they needed the blessing of the car even more.

And so it's done. The van is theirs. I hope they enjoy it and have as many wonderful memories in it as we did.

Monday, October 4, 2010

Being grateful for big things and I'm not dead yet

I went to the ER Friday, writhing with pain in my chest. It was a scary feeling, thinking I was having a heart attack and might die. I'd had chest pains before including the two weeks leading up to Friday. I was supposed to have a stress treadmill test at 10 a.m. that morning but the pain vetoed my appointment and sent me to the hospital instead. I was quickly cared for and given morphine, a lovely drug. I settled down after a few minutes and wondered why a horse was pushing on the back of my leg with its teeth. Very annoying. I also watched the clock get to 9 a.m., missed 9:10 and saw 9:15. I told Riley I didn't have to die now. He didn't understand. I told him my dad and niece Stacie both died at 9:10 a.m. and the bus had left so I didn't have to get on it.

Throughout the 11 hours we were at the ER they blood work, x-rays, an EKG, a CatScan, and an ultrasound. They weren't finding any heart problems which was good news but I didn't imagine the pain - it was like an elephant was standing on my chest, just like heart attack patients describe. They wanted to go ahead with the treadmill test but I had to wait for something to come down from Salt Lake so we didn't get started until around 4:30 p.m. I hadn't eaten or had a drink all day (except one I sneaked early on) so I was feeling pretty puny, as they say in Texas. Yet I endured one more test - radioactive gunk pumped in my arm, laying in a machine unmoving for 13 minutes, walking then running for 11 minutes to get my heart rate up (I couldn't go the distance but got it high enough), then laying in the machine again for 15 minutes where Riley said I fell asleep twice. It took until around 7 p.m. to get all the results. The doctor said I have no heart problems which is a huge relief given my grandfather, father and brother all had heart attacks in their 50's and my mom in her 60's. They were concerned about this family history.

They said I have a hiatal hernia but it's small. He also mentioned that stress can contribute to acid in the stomach, building up and causing pain. His suggestions were to take Maalox, lessen the stress in my life and see my regular doctor to possibly see a specialist. Two of those are easy, one, not so easy.

I was worn out from laying in bed all day and going to different areas of the hospital to do all the tests. Poor Riley was worn out too, experiencing sympathy chest pains and having had only two meals during the day. He is such a strength to me and such a calming influence. I love him. It was a rough day for both of us and even though I still have chest pain I know my heart is good. That's a huge blessing and an answer to prayers. (Thanks to my mom and siblings who put my name on prayer rolls in their areas!) Riley had given me a blessing in the middle of the night before we went to the ER to help me calm down and help the doctors figure out the problem.

I'm not a good patient. I don't like not doing anything, hence, I overdo and stress myself out. I wanted to get up and move around, not be tied to machines and the stupid BP cuff that nearly exploded my arm. Then I thought about people I love who are chronically ill and how they deal with medical crap nearly every minute of every day, mostly putting on a happy face while doing so. I felt ashamed that I complained about my day of inconvenience while trying to find the cause of the pain. I know they've endured many days and many tests, more than I'll ever know of.

The pain is still there but I know it's my stomach betraying me, not my heart. It's uncomfortable and Maalox, Tums and Ibuprofen are becoming my new best friends but I can deal with it.

I turned 50 this year. All the things I feel about that are for another blog, another day. But I just want to say I'm not old. I might be falling apart here and there but I'm not going to let the old people problems get me down. We all have to grow old and we can fight it tooth and nail or do it gracefully. I'm going to fight it tooth and nail gracefully.

Thursday, September 30, 2010

Best hour spent

I listened to Stephanie Nielson speak to a crowd of about 10,000 Thursday night. Well, maybe not that many but I'll bet the Ballroom in the Wilk has never held so many people. What an inspiring woman! I shed some tears while listening but I was taking notes, sitting next to my reporter and photographer, so I didn't want to get going too much. I met Amy after and made her drive home while I cried the whole time, telling her things Stephanie said and of the pictures she showed.

If you don't know who she is, she was a popular blogger (NieNieDialogues.blogspot.com) and she and her husband were in a plane crash in 2008 where was burned over 84 percent of her body. The only parts that were unburned were the top of her head and the tips of her toes. The doctors have been growing new skin from her own skin to graft onto the worst burnt areas of her body.

The pictures of her after the accident were so hard to look at. The saddest story she told was of seeing her children for the first time in five months since the accident. She hadn't seen herself in a mirror and when she finally looked she described a "monster." Her children were brought in and one daughter looked at her, then didn't look at her again for three months.

The purpose of the event was to tell women about what beauty is. She is beautiful. Not in the sense that society defines beauty because that was burned away in a plane crash in August of 2008. Her beauty comes from her faith, her love of life, her love for her husband and children and her love for the gospel. She probably didn't want the burden of passing this message on, but she does it gracefully and believably. The Lord is using her as a tool of inspiration that we are all beloved children of our Heavenly Father, not matter what we look like or our limitations. And someday, as she walks through the veil, she'll be whole again and pain free. Until then, she's a marvel.

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Two movies everyone should see

I have many favorite movies. Wizard of Oz will always be at the top but I just added a new one to my list - "Temple Grandin." It's about an autistic woman who excels in life, getting a B.A., a master's and a Ph.D. Her story won an Emmy recently for best picture. The best line in the movie is "autistic people are different, not less."

The other movie I love is called "The Boys Next Door" about a group of retarded men living in a house. It's funny but also poignant, especially one scene where a retarded man stands and gives an eloquent speech. The scene is how he'd give it if he wasn't retarded. It makes me think of the afterlife when we will be perfect and without physical problems.

Everyone should see these two films. We need to treat each other better, especially those who are different. Temple Grandin shows how people can be cruel to those who are different. It would be a great movie to show children and teenagers of how NOT to be, and to teach acceptance. It's very thought-provoking and I'm so glad we saw it.

Thursday, September 9, 2010

I hate thieves

Why are there crappy people in the world? Is it so we can appreciate nice people? Because I can appreciate nice people without having to deal with the crappy ones.

A year and a half ago it was the druggie thugs that broke into the cabin and stole a bunch of our family antiques and other items. Now I have a new mess to deal with because of some dishonest, thieving, creepy junkyard lowlife who stole my old Texas driver's license number and had checks made in my name, then passed worthless checks at stores like Wal-Mart back in 2001. If I sound angry, I am. There's currently a warrant out for my arrest from an investigator in Texas who thinks I perpetrated this crime. I've had to spend time getting my signature notarized, faxing it to Texas (six times because their stupid fax machine wasn't working), calling to get details and explaining my side of the story all the while being treated like a criminal, alerting the Utah and Texas driver's license divisions about all of this and losing sleep over it. They will never find who did it. They opened a bogus bank account using my info so there won't be anyway to trace it back to them. And they have probably since moved on through a dozen other people's numbers, causing widespread grief.

I'm a forgiving person and it's been nine years so maybe they are reformed now but here is my hope for them: that their underwear rides up and pinches every time they sit down, that every can they open is half-full, that an expensive major appliance quits working, that their outdoor inflatable pool springs a slow leak, that their laundry detergent gives them the itchies in a place they can't reach, that a neighbor's dog barks incessantly, that they can't find their car keys every third day, that their favorite sweater shrinks in the wash and that every cake they bake falls. I can only hope.

Monday, September 6, 2010

Random thoughts

It was fun to be with the Paul Wheeler family this weekend. I caught up with nephews I haven't seen for awhile and found out one of my cute nieces is having baby #3!

I loved eating Cynthia Parrish's peach pie at the cabin. We get together with our college friends twice a year, once at the cabin in the summer. Nertz, food, bocce ball, ring toss, more nertz and laughter.

My mom's health is 110% better than it was at this time last year. Last year she was barely alive in the hospital. Today she is healthy and happy. Prayers are answered.

I got to see my two girls today. I love my girls. And my boy. And my Brandy.

Riley bought six lovely new angel fish for the aquarium today. They are hiding.

I'm giving a vacuum to the No More Homeless Pets Shelter. It's Jason and Brandy's. They said I could give it away. This is a good home for it.

I've been reading the scriptures daily for about seven weeks now. Most of the time I get happiness and comfort from them but occasionally they make me sad.

I'm glad Riley isn't traveling anywhere for a while. For a long while.

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Travel list

Never leave your passport with someone who says they need to hold it to guarantee a car or whatever. Leave your driver's license.

1) Earplugs - great for the plane and for sharing rooms with snorers, thin motel walls and late-night discos next door to the motel. I have several sets with me, one in my pants pocket.
2) Wintergreen lifesaver mints. I never leave home without them. They are a natural stomach settler. I use them on planes, buses and crazy taxi rides. And I eat them other times too.
3) Mint gum - same thing - settles my stomach. Gives my mouth something to do when I am nervous.
4) A jacket. Even going to the tropics you can get cold in places.
5) An umbrella. We carried one in Paris and didn't use it, carried one in Costa Rica and used it every day.
6) Camera, flash cards, battery charger. Self-explanatory. (And now I just carry my iPhone and charger.)
7) A small notebook - I use this as a journal to list things we've done, write down people's names and info, motel directions, etc.
8) Flip-flops. Nice to have in places where there is a communal shower like hostels or field stations.
9) Plastic bags - different sizes. I put my garments in zip-locs because I don't want the airport apes touching them. I take a few extra to bring home treasures like seashells, etc. I took a lot of small ones to Germany in 2014. I made a lunch every day from the breakfast buffet at hotels - we saved on having to buy lunch!
10) Book of Mormon, Reader's Digest, a paperback book and crossword puzzles. I'm ADD so I have to have something to occupy me and sometimes I just want to read a little and not get into a compelling book.
11) A flashlight - I bought a small one and keep it near me at night. Sometimes I wake up and don't know where I am or if others are in the room I don't want to turn the light on. I have a headlamp for camping.
12) A water bottle. A must-have.
13) Two extra pair of reading glasses and an extra set of contacts. Two cheap pair of sunglasses.
14) Snacky things - fruit snacks, granola bars, almonds, gummi bears - my standard fare. Sometimes you just don't know when you are going to get to eat next.
15) Journal and pen. (I don't take my regular journal abroad but I carry a smaller one to take notes in, then I write in my regular journal when I get home.)
16) A hat - I usually take a ball cap for bad hair days, last day on a long plane trip, etc.
17) A little bottle of Rolaids, fiber tablets, stomach and pain meds, etc. besides regular meds.
18) When packing clothes I usually count how many days I'll be gone and take half that many shirts. Depending on where we stay I can wash things out or wear things twice. I do like one pair of socks for each day but I've gotten by with less. And I take at least two pair of pants - jeans and a nicer pair. Mix and match tops, one skirt for church or dinner, GOOD WALKING SHOES - A MUST! And a jacket - already mentioned.
19) Addresses of people I want to send postcards to.
20) Headset for the plane - sometimes they charge you to have one. I have tons and take two in case one set doesn't work.
21) Inflatable neck pillow for the plane.
22) Small pack of wipes for when you can't clean up properly.
23) All the usual bathroom stuff in 3 oz. or smaller bottles. I take them in my carry-on along with a change of garments and a clean shirt in case they lose my luggage. You have to put the little bottles in a quart-size zip-loc so it can be pulled out at security.
24) I don't wear a lot of jewelry or metal to go through security. I also wear comfortable shoes that are easy to get on and off.
25) Passport, travel itineraries. Leave a copy at home. Some say you should carry a copy of your passport photo page with you but in a different place from your passport in case you lose it. (And leave a copy of the contents of your wallet at home - xerox both sides of all cards you take.) Make sure your passport is good six months past your travel date if you go to certain countries.Have credit card phone numbers with you separate from credit cards so you can call the company if it gets lost or stolen.
26) Sunscreen - we like Bullfrog because it's clear, goes on easy and doesn't hurt your eyes. (It has to go in checked luggage because it's over 3 oz.)
27) Electrical adapters for the country you are going to. You might want several if you have a camera battery, computer, etc.
28) An extra bag or duffle to bring home souvenirs. You might have to figure this in to the amount of allowed luggage. We usually don't buy that much abroad anymore.

Call your credit card companies before you leave to tell them you are traveling. Some credit card businesses will freeze your card if it is used in a foreign country without them knowing ahead of time. AND get the PIN numbers for your cards!

When planes land from traveling internationally they have to incinerate all leftover food and drinks. Ask a flight attendant near the end of the flight (after the last food service) if you can take a bunch of items. Fill your boys' pockets. Tell him/her you know they are just going to incinerate them and you want to save them from dying a burning death. (It's so ridiculous but it's policy). 

Check all around your seats and in seat pockets before de-boarding. I lost a great England travel book because I was so groggy getting off the plane I didn't notice I'd left it behind.

Adapting to the time change. Try to take a couple hours nap when you first get there if it's during the day, then get up and stay up until 9 or 10 at night then take a melatonin. If you get there at night just take melatonin to help you sleep that night. We did this in England and we weren't tired at all the whole time we were there!

I saw some cool kid tattoos that are temporary for travel. See http://www.safetytat.com/
When you go some place to sightsee always pick a place to meet if you get separated from your kids and talk about it before you head out. I tried not to get too paranoid traveling with my kids and the first big trip with them was to Taiwan when the girls were 19 and 16. We just always stayed together. Except for when they wandered down the escalators at the Taiwan airport and I told them to stop wandering off because I thought they were going to get kidnapped. And on the little Tahitian islands they could go off on their own because I knew they really couldn't get lost. Ahhh, memories.

I carry an across-the-shoulder bag with a wide strap and a front zipping pocket for my passport and travel papers. It's easy to get in to. There are passport covers now that have metal in them for the newer passports that have electronic chips in them. The metal makes it hard for thieves to scan your info. I don't have one because I think the risk is low that will happen.

In Sweden we were alerted by a store clerk that there were pickpockets around. If Riley carried his backpack with expensive camera gear, I walked behind him. We were told to carry wallets in front pockets or pockets that zipped. Or use a small lock on backpacks - kind of a pain but thieves have gone through backpacks of unsuspecting tourists. Never flash money. Be careful at ATMs. Oh, and when Andrea was on a bus in Guatemala once her friend's purse was cut open while she sat there and the thief took everything out before she stood up. So be aware and pay attention! Kind of takes some of the fun out of traveling but we can outsmart those crafty knotheads!!!

Make sure you have fun - that's the bottom line. And make memories. And take pictures. I've been told to not post ANY photos while on a trip or someone could look you up and rob your house. Wait until you get home.

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Tropical RAIN forest

We got back from Costa Rica Friday. Riley went for meetings then I joined him a week later for a field trip to the jungle. I learned some things while I was there:

1) The key word in Tropical Rain Forest is RAIN. It rains and rains and rains. It is amazingly green and lush because of the rain. You carry an umbrella because of the rain. You wear knee-high irrigation boots in the jungle because of the snakes but they help when it rains. Sort of. Mine filled with water one day. I have a video of me dumping the water out.
2) Monkeys, monkeys, monkeys! Your neck gets sore from looking so high to see the monkeys. They sit, they stroll, they swing, they yell, they climb. It is so fun to watch them, especially the babies. They venture out from their mommas a bit, then scurry back to safety. I could sit and watch the monkeys all day!
3) Seeing things in the wild is better than a store or zoo. In addition to the monkeys, there were orchids, Bird of Paradise, impatiens, toucans, deer, wild guinea pigs (Agouti), Coatis and so many tropical birds - big, colorful and loud.
4) You are never dry. Not even after a shower.
5) It still gets cold. I had to sleep with a blanket (as opposed to just a sheet) two of the nights we were at the field station. The rain cooled things off at night. It was lovely.
6) You don't need sunscreen. The canopy shades you so much you don't need it. It's quite dark in the middle of the day in some parts of the jungle. And even when you are out in the open, there is cloud cover.
7) People there eat rice and beans for breakfast, lunch and dinner. I usually just ate them for dinner but I would have eaten them for other meals if there hadn't been other choices.
8) There are good people in the world saving the rain forest, like Dan Janzen, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Daniel_Janzen. He is a biologist who has worked for more than 30 years to save massive areas of jungle. Thanks Dan.
9) It's fun being married to a biologist. When I'm with Riley I see things I normally wouldn't see, like the thumbnail-sized frogs or the leaf-cutter ants marching with their leaf pieces to create a huge mound of a home. And he captures things on film so we can enjoy them when we get home. I appreciate life more when I'm with Riley. Thanks Riley.

There is so much to see and experience in this world. It's amazing all the things Heavenly Father created for us to enjoy and it's so fun to go out in the world to find them. I think about the creation and how much time it must have taken to create each plant, bug, rock and animal, large and small. He must have had such fun with the monkeys - that must be where laughter started - he created a monkey and laughed at the results.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Baby kitties, again

Twelve days ago Riley saw two tiny kittens under a bush on our patio. They hung out there for a couple of days until we realized there was no momma coming around to feed them. We caught them quite easily because they were nearly dead and very lethargic. We could feel their spines and rib cages. We thought one that had little orange markings on its gray fur was a boy and the solid gray one was a girl. We fed them milk and put them in a cat carrier. Amy and I took them to our offices, trading off every few hours so they weren't such a distraction. We did this for a couple of days. I named the girl Millie and my kids in the newsroom, who loved having baby kitties there, named the other Jimi (Amy's spelling). We fed them cream and wet cat food to add some weight to their bony little frames.

Riley looked at them again a few days later and discovered the boy was a girl and the girl was a boy. It makes sense since the girl has calico markings (all calicos are females) and is smaller and the boy is bigger. They have now doubled in size and are frisky, fun, playful, loving kitties. They jump at each other sideways, wrestle and bite each other. They curl up on our laps or shoulders. They chase yarn and climb where they shouldn't. They are very cute. But we're not keeping them. They are ready for good homes so we will start looking.

These are not the first cats we've rescued at this house. The first fall we were here 11 years ago Amy found an abandoned kitten in our front bushes. She caught it and we had Pika for several years. She was the mother to our current cat Guida. She ran off for three years, came back for about a year, then left for good.

Last year our neighbors abandoned a mother and four kittens. By the time we were able to catch them the kittens were quite large and very wild. We found homes for all of them. Zuzu lives with Parkers in Colorado, the rest went to freecycle responders who have barns and needed mousers.

Chunie was another story. She came from the pit of hell, adopted herself to our house, bit us, swatted at us, ate our food and sometimes let someone touch her head. She was a rickety, patchwork mess of a cat. She gave birth to our current cat Stella, a sweet cat who shows her mother's temperament once in a while. Stella used to be meaner but getting hit twice by cars has left her nicer than the time before.

Notch was another cat we adopted. When we bought the house he was already living here. He was a bit of a mess too but he had the sweetest personality. He lived here for nearly 10 years, keeping watch on the east side of our house. He's probably also Guida and Stella's father. Kristi Parker took the last pictures of Notch, none of us knowing he would go to cat heaven shortly thereafter. Thanks Kristi!

I don't know why pathetic, needy cats end up here. I guess we are the Nelson Cat Sanctuary. I think cats, especially kittens, are some of God's loveliest creatures and someday we'll understand better the relationships we are blessed to have with them. Maybe we'll even understand Chunie.

Sunday, August 1, 2010

Learning good things

I've finally gotten into the habit of reading my scriptures daily. I decided I wouldn't read the newspaper or look at the computer (two things I do every morning) until I read at least one chapter. It's been three weeks now and I started because I was looking for some spiritual guidance which I have received many times over. It's funny how I know reading the scriptures is good for my heart and soul, yet I don't make time for it. I hope to keep my habit going now.

This morning I thought of all the little people who come to my house and how they learn what to do and what not to do. Don't put things in the fish tanks, don't stick your fingers in the sockets, say please and thank you. As little kids we had to learn things by being told something over and over until it stuck. We learned one thing at a time. It's the same thing with the scriptures - we are asked to read them over and over and we learn one thing at a time, line upon line, precept on precept. Little kids become better listeners and better people by listening, learning and knowing. Big kids do too. Big kids like me and anyone else who is willing to listen and learn to become better.

Saturday, July 24, 2010

A day at my old homestead

I spend a lot of time at my old homestead in Springville but it is in pieces here and there. Today I am spending the whole day because the caregivers are gone to a family reunion. They've been gone since Thursday but there has been a whole network of people here: first Amber, a paid caregiver, then Jan, my sweet sissy, then Melanie, another paid caregiver, then Loni, my cute niece who brought her darling kids Devin and Tessa. Tessa is 3 years old and she said she didn't want to leave, she wanted to live here forever. I told her it was such a fun house to grow up in and she could come back whenever she wants. I took Loni's place and have spent the day cleaning, fixing, watering, cooking and shopping for my mom. But making that statement to Tessa brought back some of my favorite memories of this house:

1) making cucumber boats to sail down the ditch out front (the ditch is gone).
2) swinging in the porch swing with any family member, friend or boyfriend (Kelly bugged the front porch so he could listen in ...)
3) irrigation day! The front and back lawns would be flooded and we'd get to play in our own 5" pool of cool water on hot summer days.
4) climbing the big catalpa tree out front. I can still do it. We played for hours in that tree, making certain branches rooms and talking about everything under the sun.
5) playing "red light, green light" and "Mother, may I?" on the front sidewalk. I loved scissor hops and giant steps the best.
6) playing in our own play house. My dad built a playhouse on stilts, well, three stilts and one tree. Kelly and I painted it white. It had three windows and stairs that climbed two sides. We had a little cupboard in there. It was one of our favorite hide-aways.
7) planting flowers with my mom. She planted geraniums (I think they stink), marigolds, petunias and others all around the edges of the yard. I always got to help, even when she broke her leg golfing (fore! oops) and had to roll around on a car dolly. (I plant all the flowers now.)
8) playing basketball by the shop. We played HORSE for hours at a time. I was even good.
9) the Cowpalace - this is the big building at the back of the property. When it was first built it was my dad's shop and an office downstairs and one huge playroom upstairs. That room had a ping-pong table, my brother's band equipment and my dad's gun reloading stuff. We named it the Cowpalace after some big entertainment place in California, I don't know why. Now it is his original shop and three apartments with a different staircase from the circular one that was there first. We had sleep-overs in that big room. I remember eating Chick-O-Sticks one night.
10) Christmas morning. OK, so we always had to wait for my dad to use the bathroom (I think he read whole Louis L'Amour novels in there) but then we would all tear down the stairs in order of age to see what Santa had brought. The first few years we tore through everything but then my dad brought order to Christmas morning by having us all open presents in turn. It lasted forever but the wait was a killer. My mom always made pancakes, in fact she made pancakes all the time. My friends remember coming over for pancakes a lot, all year long.
11) April Fool's Day - I was so gullible. Maybe it's why I like to pull pranks now. My mom would stand at the back door and say, "Kid's look at that helicopter landing in the yard!" or "There's a giraffe in the backyard!" I'd crane my head and look and look and say, "Where?" My dad would make pancakes and put a layer of wax paper in the middle. Got us every time until we wised up.
12) Valentine's day. My grandma Wheeler would come and leave candy at the front door, knock and run. We'd open it and then find her behind the bush out front. Nowadays I am the Valentine Fairy Monster and I do the same thing.

I had a really terrific childhood. This house is magical. I have 99.9% wonderful memories. The 1% is mostly from me doing naughty things which got laughed at so they really weren't all that bad. I'm thankful for good, loving parents and siblings who have always been friends. Pretty charmed life, really.

Monday, July 19, 2010

Our mobile home is toast

There was a picture of a mobile home in the paper the other day. It had burned in a fire. It looked familiar, like the one we owned in the '80s so when I was down in that neighborhood today, I drove by. It was ours. It made me sad. We have so many good memories of the time we spent there from October 1983 to August 1988.

Riley had just started his Ph.D. at the Y, Jason was 2 1/2 and Andrea was three months old when we bought it. We figured it was a good stepping stone while Riley was still in school. It was in a nice park, not a trashy park. We had great neighbors and made lifelong friends there, some that we still get together with.

These are some memorable moments from living there:
1) Jason and Andrea both learned how to ride bikes there. They also both started school at Timpanogos Elementary.
2) Amy was born while we lived there.
3) We had Thanksgiving dinners and family Christmas programs there.
4) I babysat for other people, giving my kids friends to play with and us some extra income.
5) I served in the Young Women program and loved my young women, some who are now friends on Facebook.
6) We had several litters of baby kitties there. The kids named them odd names like Lizard, Blizzard, Gizzard, Flour and Bakery. I think the mom to all of them was "Yeow," who Amy named.
7) Amy pulled most of her little shenanigans at that house: butter all over her body, hair gel in the carpet, pulled the Christmas tree over three times until we finally nailed it to the wall, flushed my glasses down the toilet and loved Wonder Woman underwear.
8) I started winning contests on a monthly basis while we lived there. My friend Leslee and I won a trip to Acapulco. I also won a "Consumer of the Month" contest and Riley and I were flown to San Francisco to pick up our $1,000 check. This led to the jobs I had with Purchase Power while we lived in Utah, California and Texas.
9) We lost five loved ones while living there. My grandma Wheeler had a stroke the summer of 1984 and I went to the hospital up the street every morning at 5 a.m. for five weeks to be with her at a time of day I wasn't needed as a wife or mother. She died July 14. My great-grandma Ford died within weeks of her. Riley's mom Aileen died in November of 1986, followed by my grandpa Poulson in Dec. of 1986. His wife, my grandma Poulson, died 17 months later in May 1988. I hadn't had anyone in my family die since I was six years old so it was difficult to lose so many in just a few years.
10) We played in the park swimming pool nearly every day in the summer to keep cool. My niece Steph remembers, "Around and around, around and around, brush your teeth, around and around" and other pool ditties.
11) Riley built a great porch where we had our picnic table and a kid-size picnic table. The kids had birthday parties out there. Andrea had one where friends brought dolls - mostly Cabbage Patch kids.
12) Riley had his bike stolen from that house, one his grandfather had given him.
13) I discovered Amy had molars when I had to dig manure from the garden out of her mouth.
14) We made great friends with Doug and Nann Mower, Ev and Kathy Snyder, Dave and Leslee Henson, Alvin and Cindy Williamson, Ray and Eileen Barney, Orlo and Vinetta Eyre, Debra Prestwich, Betty Morgan (of the brownies fame) and many others. We've kept in touch with them and still laugh about our times together back in the '80s.
15) We used to walk over to the Provo River to feed the ducks, a cheap family outing.
16) We got our first video camera while we lived there. Riley's dad Winston bought it for us.

We colored Easter eggs, carved pumpkins, set out Christmas stockings and got candy from the Valentine Fairy Monster there. We had yard sales, played in the snow, had Family Home Evenings, ate 4th of July breakfast and went to the Grand Parade from there. We bought our first family car - the '81 Toyota Corolla which we just sent to the Kidney Foundation in 2008 - in 1985 while we lived there. We spent some of the best years of our lives in the 14X70 mobile home and even though the house itself is now a burned-out shell, the home part will always remain in our hearts.

Saturday, July 17, 2010

Hiking adventures in Utah

I hiked the Y this morning. It's been on my list of things to do. Growing up in this area you'd think I would have hiked Timp, visited Timp Cave or hiked the Y as a kid. I did none of those until the last few years. Each one was a different adventure.

Going into Timp Cave with Riley and a group of students was fine until the walls started closing in and I felt nauseous. The guide asked if I have claustrophobia, which I only developed in the last six years or so. I said yes and she said to come walk at the front with her. I did and was fine for the trip through the cave.

Hiking up to the top of Timpanogos was another adventure. Riley and I decided to make a two-day trip out of it so he carried a tent and we each carried sleeping bags and food. It took about seven hours to get to where we camped because we stopped to take pictures of moose, flowers and other natural wonders. (And to rest.) We found a great place to camp off the trail and ate tortillas with peanut butter on them (a Riley camping delicacy) before we turned in. We heard people passing by in the wee morning hours. Crazy people. We stashed our gear the next morning and headed out for the top. We photographed mountain goats just above our heads on the trail. Riley let me set the pace and we took several hours to get to the top. Just before reaching the summit I tweaked my knee and it hurt a little but I made it to the very windy top of Timp. We wrote our names in the book in the shack and I called people on my cell phone. It was an amazing view from the top and we spent about a half hour there. As we started down I knew my knee was going to give me troubles. More than an hour into heading down I was popping ibuprofen trying to ease the pain. I didn't think I'd be able to get off the mountain and wondered if helicopters flew in to rescue hikers with bad knees. After a long time of barely walking, taking meds and praying for help, I saw the most wondrous site. Someone had dropped a knee brace at the edge of the trail. I kid you not. I looked up at the skies with an "are you kidding me" look. I sat down and slipped it on and continued down the mountain, still in pain but a little steadier and faster with the brace. A miracle.

The hike today was with friends Tamela Blake and her kids Tiffany, Tyler and Julia and Sondra Hudgens and her daughter Nora. Julia is five, just my speed, and needed breaks often, bless her. It was fun to sit at the top of the Y and look out over the valley. You really get a different perspective of the places you go every day and I was reminded of how beautiful this valley is with Utah Lake, the mountains on both sides and all the trees! The valley is covered in lush, green trees.

It's not really that difficult of a hike but coming down my knee reminded me why it doesn't like downhill slopes. Since we didn't have far to go I knew I'd make it but it reminded me of the prayers I said on Timp and the amazing answer to those prayers. Small but simple things.

Sunday, July 11, 2010

I love my high school friends

Two years ago we had our 30th class reunion. It was a second attempt since the classmate who was in charge of the first one couldn't find anyone and it flopped. The second wasn't much better but we did get more people to come.

Six months ago I realized all of us are turning 50 this year so I told my friend Jon Groneman we needed to throw a "Class of 1978 turns 50" party which we did last night. Facebook helped us find so many more people and different people from two years ago. We had a blast. As usual, we sat and talked about all the crazy things we did in high school. Some people who listened were shocked, they never knew about the shenanigans. Others knew but weren't a part of them. And those of us who were in the thick of all the madness told the stories. Again. And we laughed.

I love these friends. I love the time I spent in high school, not just because of the pranks and naughty stuff that makes us laugh now but because we were so close as friends. We lived our lives together, some of us from kindergarten through high school, and a few even into college. Probably a day didn't go by that we didn't makes plans daily to be together back then.

I've tried to keep track of people over the years. Every year when I lived away I'd come back from Texas and meet with some of my girlfriends for dinner. We still do this once in a while. And now with Facebook I've reconnected with so many more and it's fun to have little chats online with them. The older I get the more I treasure friends and the relationships we had and can still have. It's one of life's greatest gifts.

Monday, July 5, 2010

The 4th, no wait, 3rd, or 5th of July

I love the 4th of July, especially in Utah when it is celebrated over the course of three days. Saturday was fireworks at the stadium, viewed from the corner by my house so we don't get trapped in traffic. Sunday was singing patriotic songs in church which always brings a lump to my throat and a tear to my eye and today is the balloon launch and big parade. There are 20 balloons in the sky over Provo as I write and I am planning on skipping the parade. Every five years is enough.

As a child the 4th of July was always spent in Wyoming at our cabin on Fremont Lake. The day was filled with good food and water-skiing, playing on the sandy beach of Box Bay with my family and whatever friends were with us that day. I really don't remember fireworks being a part of the 4th except a few times pre-cabin days and after I was married. We even had a Wheeler cabin ballad that included words about the 4th spent on the lake.

As a young married mother we watched fireworks in Brigham City once or twice and in Provo several times. In Texas we created a new tradition. We, along with the Parkers, Krieses, Pearces, Joyces, Friskes, Algers and other families, staked out our place on the edge of Town Lake for the 4th of July celebration. We'd head down late afternoon with food, drinks and games and sit for hours playing and talking. At some point the Austin Symphony began to play and we listened to beautiful music. Then, after dark, the symphony played the 1812 Overture with fireworks bursting overhead. During that song there are cannons that are fired and they were matched to the fireworks. It was always insane trying to get out of there to get home but we always left happy and full of joy from the day's activities.

Here in Provo we started a new tradition. Our house is about three miles north of the Stadium of Fire. We eat, play nertz, hang out and then walk half a block to a grassy spot to watch the fireworks. We've learned that as soon as the show is over, visitors get in their cars and leave, missing the crazy log jam of traffic on our road. The past few years Andrea and Amy started their own tradition of going to Boulder for the 4th. Riley has been in Mongolia for the past five years during the 4th. So it's a good thing I have the Parker kids to keep the tradition going.

Whatever the tradition, whoever I'm with, whatever songs are played or sung, I love the 4th of July. I love our country's independence. I love the sight of the American flag. I love to put my hand over my heart and pledge my allegiance to my country. I guess I'm a patriotic nerd and that's just fine with me.

Monday, June 28, 2010

Girl's camp

Girl's camp was invented for three reasons: to draw near to the Lord and strengthen your testimony (OK, that's two), to get away from the material trappings of life and to have fun (i.e. pranks). I'm leaving for girl's camp tomorrow. It will be my 15th year at camp as a leader.

Here are some things I take with me:
1) my scriptures
2) a flashlight
3) needle and thread to sew people's sleeves and sleeping bags
4) snacks
5) ear plugs
6) my Nalgene

Here is what Gladiola takes:
1) her red lipstick
2) her horn-rimmed glasses
3) one pink sponge curler
4) blue eye shadow
5) her shoulder pad vest (it really belongs to my mom)
6) her 'not normal' visor
7) pink shoes
8) straw purse with things glued on the side
9) crab hat
10) Minnie Mouse glasses

I don't know why I love camp so much. It could be the chance to be as weird as possible and not caring what people think. It might be the setting - here in Utah it's among pines and aspens. Just sitting in a grove of these trees, looking out over God's creations is an awe-inspiring experience. Maybe it's that camp, high in the mountains, is closer to heaven and it's easier to feel God's presence. It could be hanging out with friends, getting emotional about tender things or laughing hysterically. Maybe it's just a lovely combination of all these things. Whatever it is, I love it.

Sunday, June 20, 2010

The dads in my life

Today is Father's Day - a contrived holiday to help us remember our fathers. It's probably a good thing to set this day aside to honor our fathers. While we should be thankful for them every day, it's good to get a nudge to do it, if only to buy one more tie or make a delicious pie.

There are three cherished fathers in my life: my own father, Riley, the father of my children and Winston, Riley's father. Here is a top 10 list of likes and memories for each:

My dad:
1) Could build or fix anything.
2) Loved his wife and kids.
3) Taught me how to work and just as importantly, how to play.
4) Had a firm testimony.
5) Loved green jello and green gummi bears.
6) Went for bike rides with me.
7) Taught me how to shoot a gun, shoot baskets, walk on stilts, snowmobile and water-ski.
9) Visited me in California and Texas.
10) Wore cowboy boots.

Riley:
1) Loves when I make him a pie.
2) Makes his own colorful belts.
3) Walks the beaches, hills and mountains of the world chasing bugs.
4) Lets me sleep.
5) Makes the best pancakes.
6) Loves me and loves his kids.
7) Is a worthy priesthood holder with a steadfast testimony.
8) Likes thought-provoking movies. And action ones.
9) Has well-defined taste buds, more so than mine.
10) Can fix most anything that breaks, but knows when to call a repairman.

My father-in-law Winston:
1) Nicknamed me Kaye Bagel.
2) Loved my fried potatoes. Or anything else I cooked.
3) Pushed our kids in the swings in his yard.
4) Had a strong testimony.
5) Did crazy things when the video camera was aimed at him.
6) Bought our first video camera for us.
7) Drank Coke and ate Ding Dongs.
8) Was a lifelong scouter.
9) Loved his wife and sons.
10) Gave candy to the neighbor kids if they recited the Pledge of Allegiance.

I love these three men. I'm a better person because they are/were in my life.

Friday, June 18, 2010

A love/hate relationship with pie crusts

I used to have a love/hate relationship with pie crust. I followed the recipe, rolled it out just right, peeled it up, messed around with it falling apart and cussed at it for flaking on me with I needed it to hold together.

That was before I found the best pie crust recipe in the world (and before I learned patience). Now it is a delight to make pies and although I don't make them often enough to satisfy Riley (he really loves pie), he appreciates when I make one. I made two pecan pies today for a Texas gathering tomorrow. They are beautiful. And I didn't have to yell at them at all.

Friday, June 11, 2010

30 years

I'm really not old enough to have been married 30 years. Not quite sure how that happened except that these are the things that made up those 30 years:

1) We were sealed in the Logan Temple June 12, 1980 - lots of memories from that day!
2) Our first apartment was in Brigham City for three months. Riley worked at Thiokol. I worked at Sears telephone center. We had a kitty named Meno and found a tiny abandoned black kitty we named Yoda.
3) We moved to Logan for Riley to get his Master's. I found out I was pregnant! Got a job at USU Housing office where my best friend from high school, Merry Giacomo Hitchcock, worked. Lots of firsts in Logan - first Christmas, first baby - Jason was born 10 months after we were married. :) He was the best thing to come into my life since Riley - I had two boys to look after and loved being a wife and mother. First vehicle bought together - I had a red jeep, he had a gold Mustang. We sold the jeep because it wasn't safe for a baby. We bought a little Chevy Luv pickup for Riley to drive. Second baby Andrea was born in Logan in July 1983 - we had a cute little family!
4) In 1983 when Andrea was three months old we moved to Springville - we stayed with my parents for about 6 weeks until we found a mobile home we wanted to buy in Provo to live in while Riley got his Ph.D. at BYU.
5) We spent five fun years in the mobile home at 1375 West 500 North #111 in Provo. At one point we had three kids in one small bedroom after Amy joined us in May of 1986.
6) We said goodbye to my great grandma Dora Ford and my grandma Leah Wheeler the summer of 1984. We lost Riley's mom Aileen and my grandpa Shirl Poulson at the end of 1986. My grandma Poulson died spring 1988. We lost a lot of beloved people in those four years.
7) The Nelson's Big Adventure started in August 1988 with a move to Daly City, Calif. I had never lived outside of Utah and this was scary and exciting for me. Our little family blossomed as we became closer living away from extended family. We loved our year in California, even though I got pneumonia from living in a fog bank.
8) I had started winning radio contests (and others) in November 1987 in Utah. This continued through California, Texas and back to Utah - I won at least one thing per month for 17 years! It was a fun part of my life and supplemented our family outings to places like the Santa Cruz Boardwalk and an A's game in California and tons of stuff in Texas: Schlitterbahn, Sea World, free dinners, concerts - Billy Joel and Elton John, James Taylor (3 times), Santana, Whitney Houston, Anita Baker and Sting (front row). I won airline tickets, trips to Cancun and Acapulco, coats, shoes, T-shirts, money, money, money, diamond earrings, pearl earrings, Thanksgiving dinner in a Mayflower moving van and more. I could write a book. Maybe I will.
9) We moved to Austin, Texas in August of 1989 and thought we'd only be there one semester. We ended up buying a house and lived there for 10 wonderful, fun-filled years.
10) I had a great job at Purchase Power, a national company, where I worked for six years. It was the best training for learning the computer, learning how to right consumer wrongs, learning the ins and outs of a national business and more. Wonderful job - thanks Noah.
11) Our kids grew up in Texas - we have tons of family memories that include lots of wonderful people from work, church and neighborhood. Thankfully, we still keep in touch with most of them.
12) Riley's dad Winston died in August 1995 after his cancer came back. Riley, his brothers, sister-in-law Jean and I took turns going to Utah to care for him for several months. He died while Riley was on a trip to Costa Rica. That's another book to write.
13) We moved back to Utah in the summer of 1999. Riley was hired at BYU to teach biology courses. I was a nearly full-time helper to my dad who was paralyzed in a snowmobile accident in April of 1999. He lived for 19 months and while it was excruciatingly difficult to see him in his new life, it was also wonderful to be near him and my mom and serve them. He died in November of 2000, two months after Riley's brother Randy died. Two great men.
14) I began work at Canyon Crest Elementary where I ran a reading program for below-level readers for five years. During that time I served as Relief Society president in our ward and I started back to college, just to take classes for fun. That was in 2001.
15) By 2005 I knew I wanted to be a journalist because I've always loved to write so I declared my major and worked through the comms program at BYU. I was a reporter for The Daily Universe, then the A&E editor, then the Opinions editor, at the same time interning at the Deseret News. Then I was the TA for the reporting class and graduated in Dec. 2007. Andrea and I walked for graduation in April 2008 - a milestone I never thought I would accomplish!
16) For a year or so I freelanced for Wasatch Life magazine, writing fun articles - there's even one with Riley's photos that we collaborated on. I also worked as a food critic for area restaurants but the best break came when The Daily Universe called me to take my adviser's place in the newsroom. I've been there almost two years and it's really the best, most perfect, most fun, challenging yet fulfilling job I've ever had.

There's lots more to my life with Riley. I really would have to write a book to make sure I mention our travels to Tahiti, Taiwan, Australia, Argentina, Sweden, Denmark, Canada, Hawaii, Mexico and Paris. What about all the family cats: Meno, Yoda, Yeow and her babies, Callie, Tiger, Callie II the cat from Hell, Pika, Guida, Heiva, Stella and many more. The other family pets: rabbits, fish, turtles, cockroaches, mice, spiders, frogs, etc. I'd need more space to write about those fun contests, health challenges, jobs, kids growing up, aging, friends, Gladiola's adventures, girl's camp, theme parties (PeeWee Herman, Napoleon Dynamite, ponies, pirates, Wizard of Oz) our favorite family movies, songs, sayings, TV shows, outdoor adventures, house adventures including floods and renovations and more. I guess I really should write a book.

Anyway, the past 30 years have been one wild ride. I'm going to hang on for much more.

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

A place to reflect

I had not been to the temple since March. My goal is once a month so I'm sad I haven't met my goal these past few months. I'm going to make up for it by going several times this month.

I fasted as I went to the temple this morning seeking peace. There are hard things to think about in my life right now and I wanted Heavenly Father's assurance that he is still there, guiding me through rough waters. I got that and more. It's an incredible feeling to lay your soul open and ask for help and get it ten-fold. It's like I took my empty cup in and came out with it spilling over. Calm assurances, answers, suggestions, peace and promises were what I came home with.

I won't be a stranger to the temple again.

Thursday, June 3, 2010

Pay it forward

I've done this a few times - paid for someone's groceries behind me in line. It's not easy to do because you have to be sneaky with the grocery clerk. I usually do this with kids because adults are too suspicious and unrelenting. Tonight a kid behind me had a 2-liter bottle of Mt. Dew. I slipped the clerk a couple of dollars to pay for it. She scanned it and the kid handed her his money. She handed it to me. I handed it back to him. He looked confused. The clerk said, "she just paid for your drink." He stared at me. I said "Pay it forward." He stared harder. I asked, "Do you know what that means?" He shook his head. He was only about 11. I said, "I did something nice for you, now you do something nice for someone else." He mumbled thanks. I walked out of the store. He was behind me. He ran to his car yelling at his mom that some lady bought his drink for him. He stopped running and yelled, "Thanks lady" to me. I told him he was welcome and to have a nice night.

A fun end to a good day.

Sunday, May 30, 2010

The Value of Work

I was asked a couple of weeks ago to speak in sacrament meeting today. The topic was the value of work which is easy for me because my parents taught me how to work. But I was the last speaker which is a daunting position to be in. If you don't speak long enough there's an awkward gap where they either end the meeting early or ask people from the congregation to come and speak. If you speak too long people are looking at their watches wondering when you are going to be done. (I know because I do this.) But my 18-minute talk fit perfectly and I even added a few tidbits here and there. I just don't want to do it again in the next five years. Check me off the list.

I'm glad my parents taught me how to work. My mom taught me how to cook and bake, plant flowers, clean the house, do crafts, paint, create memories and read. My dad taught me how to use a screwdriver, measure and run a front-end loader. I've caulked, laid tile, pulled carpet, laid linoleum, painted, stained, tightened loose screws (I've had a few ...), sprayed squeaky hinges and more. I normally don't wait for Riley to take care of a problem, I just do it myself. I sometimes have to ask for help but many times I've problem-solved myself. It's because my dad believed in me and there was no "women's work" or "men's work." I hope I've instilled that in my own kids - it's a nice trait to have - a good work ethic.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Happiness comes in many forms

It made me happy to listen to the rain on the sunroom skylights this morning. There are newly-planted poppies in my front flower area (thanks Amy). I've always wanted poppies in my garden - they make me happy too even though the Wicked Witch tried to use them to kill Dorothy (And now, my beauties - something with poison in it, I think. With poison in it, but attractive to the eye - and soothing to the smell - poppies! poppies! poppies!)

I get sidetracked easily.

There are many things that make me happy besides rain on my skylights and poppies:

1) taco salad
2) reading the morning paper in bed
3) parties at my house
4) Riley
5) humming hymns
6) having so many friends
7) ice cream with chunks of stuff and ribbons of goo in it (not walnuts)
8) finishing a prayer and receiving ideas and inspiration
9) reading about someone doing service for someone in dire need
10) giving service
11) laying on the grass (especially in Paris last month ...)
12) that old friends from my past have found me on facebook!
13) Costco roasted chicken
14) real snail mail from a friend or family member
15) when the scale reads lower than the day before
16) knowing I have a date to meet my sister for breakfast or lunch
17) reminiscing with my mom
18) crossing things off my to-do list
19) finding money in a pocket
20) laughing with my kids

I guess the list could go on and on. There are just so many great things about life. There is sadness in the world and horrible news in the papers every day. But the good far outweighs the bad, the happy outweighs the sad. I think Heavenly Father wants it that way. He created situations just so we can be happy. And I am.

Saturday, May 15, 2010

Weed pulling - an analagous exercise

I spent several hours pulling the first weeds of spring this week. It's not my favorite thing to do. My dad had my twin brother and I pull weeds every summer, maybe even every minute of every summer, when we were young. He had a gigantic garden behind the house next door and he'd bark in his fatherly voice, "You and Kelly get out there and weed today ..." He had shown us how to weed early on - making sure we pulled only the offending plants and not those we'd harvest to eat later on.

Last Friday I weeded our garden to get it ready for my friend Callie to roto-till. Yesterday I weeded the big berm out front of our house. Some weeds come out easily - their tiny little thread-like roots don't go very deep and they don't hold on tight when you yank them. Other weeds are more clever. Their roots are fat, finger-like and spread underground. You can't just pull them, you have to use a shovel to loosen them. I pulled all the easy ones first because ... they were easy. There is a quick, quiet satisfaction in ripping them out and dropping them in the bucket. I eyeballed the bigger offenders, saying, you'll get your turn next. And most came out with help from the shovel and a little more effort to dig deep to get all the roots. Yet some broke off, leaving snippets of roots far below the dirt to rise again.

As I worked among the new plants in the cool morning air I saw an analogy about what we believe in. If our beliefs are like the flimsy weeds it's easy to lose our stance on anything. We are easily dislodged from our beliefs and it's hard to take root again. If we are more like the stubborn weeds, hanging on tight where we are planted, it's pretty hard to let go of our beliefs - it takes a lot more effort to move us and even if we lose some ground, we hopefully have some snippets left in place for our testimony to rise again.

I don't like the thought of being like a pesky weed. The better analogy is to be like those plants that are wanted - the delicious vegetables and beautiful flowers that are welcomed and loved. Yet even those have differing degrees of sturdiness in roots. It's all about conviction. Are we grounded enough in our beliefs to stand strong and immovable, no matter what? Or are our roots weak and thin? Only the master gardener knows.

Thursday, May 13, 2010

I have to start cooking again

When Riley leaves, be it two days, two weeks or a month, I quit cooking. There's no point in cooking a meal for one, maybe two if Amy is home. That is why fast food was created - not because it's fast, but because it's food-ready-to-eat.

Since Riley left nearly two weeks ago I've eaten at KFC, Red Robin, Rubios, Noodles & Co., Wendy's (several times), Iceburg, Baskin Robins and Dairy Queen. Wow. No wonder my pants are tight.

I just really like the idea of ordering food, having it delivered hot to my face, eating it, not cleaning up after myself and no dishes to do. I also like not having to shop for groceries and not having leftovers in the fridge that might get tossed because of neglect.

Riley comes home tomorrow. I wonder where we'll go out for dinner.

Friday, May 7, 2010

Dirt between my fingers

I got to do something yesterday I hadn't planned on doing. I planted flowers for my mother in her flower pots. She wanted to go to Diamond's to pick up her hanging baskets and while we were there she asked if we could get some flowers to plant. My initial reaction was, "I don't have time to do that today," but I decided I would take time. We picked out blue and yellow pansies and sunshine marigolds, coral geraniums and deep green ferns. My mother's eyes are dimming but she can still see the brilliant colors of the flowers. At her home I gathered up flower pots and dug out last year's dead plants and roots. I ran my fingers through the cool dirt to loosen it up and sunk the root balls of the flowers into the black richness, patting them into the dirt like tucking children into bed.

This simple act of gardening brought joy to me as I tended to her new flowers and joy to my mother as she watched and commented, yet again, on what a wonderful daughter I am to her. I have so many memories of doing things with my mom through the years and this planting of spring flowers dates back to my childhood. Of course back then I watched her plant them, or helped her as she moved along, sinking colorful flowers into many areas of her yard. Five small planters are all we can manage these days but they bring such joy to her in her limited world. I'm glad I took the time.

Thursday, April 29, 2010

Turning the big 5-0!

I really don't feel 50 years old. My inner self is only about 14 so how can the outer be 50? It's been a fun ride. I could probably write several books with titles such as "Winning Radio Contests -- A Complete Guide to Never Paying for Anything," "Planning Spectacular Parties Using Movies, Colors or Haiku," "Pranks - Just Do 'Em" and "Why Alter Egos are More Fun Than Real Life" by Gladiola Wickiwack. I'm not sure why there's been so much craziness in my life - I blame my mother.

I've learned a few things along the way, some I should have learned early, early on. Maybe this list will help young mothers.

1) All the silverware in the drawer doesn't have to match. Neither do the towels.
2) It's not the presents that are important at birthdays and holidays - it's the people.
3) Don't waste money on cheap toys or good walking shoes. Choose wisely.
4) More than one person can be right and something can be done correctly more than one way.
5) There's never a reason to be rude.
6) God hears and answers prayers. Sometimes the answer is no. Then things work out anyway.
7) Exercise. Just enough.
8) Love your skin. If you are naughty to it, it changes and you won't like those changes.
9) Get enough calcium. You don't want to be the hunchback of Notre Dame when you are 75.
10) Spend money to make memories, not to have things.
11) The more we own, the more trapped we are by things we have to store, dust, insure, move, trip over, clean and organize.
12) Your mother was right. Stand up straight.
13) Protect your ears. Wear earplugs when blow drying or to sleep at girl's camp.
14) Doorbell ditch. Leave treats. (My address is ... )
15) You don't have to overindulge at buffets to get your money's worth.
16) Take care of your teeth. Floss the ones you want to keep.
17) Good people don't have to be churchy but churchy people should be good.
18) The world won't end if you miss trash day.
19) When kids make messes, don't get mad - take a picture. You'll have a fun memory to talk about later and pictures to show potential boyfriends/girlfriends.
20) Heaven is not going to be all white.
21) Don't teach someone how to do something and then go back and re-do it when they aren't looking. They'll notice.
22) Being on time is a show of respect to those running the show. But being late occasionally for a good reason isn't a crime.
23) Collect friends.
24) Sneak a drink out of the milk jug once in a while. No one is going to die.
25) Just be nice. Kindness is not overrated.

Well that's half of 50 - maybe I'll learn another 25 in the next 50 years. If you are reading this I must love you because I invited you here. Thanks for being a part of my first 50 years.

Saturday, April 24, 2010

Paris, Paris, Paris!

Wow - we just got home from the trip of a lifetime. We've had other trips of a lifetime (Tahiti, Argentina, Brazil, Taiwan, Australia, Denmark and Sweden) but this was really our trip - just the two of us, no meetings, no catching bugs (except two at the top of the Eiffel Tower, c'mon, I'm with Riley). We spent 8 1/2 days wandering the streets of Paris. We saw more old art, more people wearing black, more high heels, more scarves, more creperies, more old buildings and more tourists than we've seen in a lifetime. Quite the place.

My favorites:
The Eiffel Tower - going to the top in the elevators, wandering around the top, seeing all of Paris.
The Eiffel Tower at night - magnificent!
The Arc d'Triomphe - climbing 284 stairs to the top.
Notre Dame - climbing the 384 stairs to the bell tower. Riley posing as Quasimodo. The gargoyles.
Walking hand in hand by the Seine.
Walking hand in hand down Champ Elysees.
Buying and eating pastries and Nutella and banana crepes.
Eating out every night except ...
Our picnic inside our apartment balcony - roast chicken, tabouli, salad, baguette
Versailles - not really a favorite but I liked Marie Antoinette's smaller castle and country area.
Seeing the Mona Lisa, Winged Victory and Venus de Milo.
Coming home.

I'm tired but I have many memories to run through my head for a long time.

Saturday, April 10, 2010

The ebb and flow of life

Life is sometimes like gentle lapping ocean waves, easily receding and advancing, the rhythm a natural cadence of back and forth, in and out. Once is a while the waves move at a quicker pace, something underwater is making them pick up speed and the cadence increases but still remains regular. Occasionally a storm cell with lightning bolts and high wind develops out over the water and the waves begin crashing on the shore, wiping out all semblance of normalcy, changing the landscape of the earth it touches.

My life has mostly been gentle lapping waves, a regular rhythm of day-to-day life with some changes in tide for good measure. It's been comfortable, this life of mine, and although there have been rough spots, I learned and grew from them. Sometimes the waves crashing caused heartache and difficulty. Other times the waves crashed as periods of change entered my life. I can name those days or stretches of time:

Leaving home at age 19
My marriage to Riley
The birth of each of my three children
The moves we made to California, Texas and Utah
Losing Aileen, Winston, my dad and Stacie (I lost others along the way but the change to my life in those instances where not as severe)
Seeing each of my children leave home
Graduating from college
My mom's health these past 16 months

Maybe I'm being more contemplative as I near my 50th birthday. It truly is a milestone and one I fear and relish at the same time. I have books I want to write, adventures I want to take and places I want to travel to yet I love the natural cadence of my every day life and want to revel in each moment. The waves that crash upsetting the rhythm of my life are sometimes unwelcome and I want to moan about what's put upon me but in the end, it just becomes a part of the natural ebb and flow. The waves always calm. I just have to be ready.

Saturday, April 3, 2010

Blunder of extreme proportion

I am a planner, an organizer. I make things happen because I think about things days, weeks, even months in advance. It's a gift. Or a curse, depending on how you look at it or if you are involved in my planning.

Yesterday I had some time to think about our trip to Paris. I've been gone every day from early until late and just haven't been able to pull things together regarding the trip - it all can't just fall into place the day before we go, I have to plan.

So I got the toiletry bag out and went through it, making mental notes of what I need to buy, well ahead of time. Went online, read up about Paris, how to use their bathrooms, the Euros exchange rate, what the weather is like. My friend Jera is here and we were talking about France. She mentioned she doesn't have a passport. I told her to get one and she could go with. Passport, hmmm. Maybe I should get those out. Riley's - good til 2017. Kaye's - good til 2010, wait, what - Jan 25, 2010. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! My heart fell into my socks. I stared at the numbers trying to make it be 2012 which is what I thought it was. No amount of staring at the 0 made it a 2. I yelled for Amy - she was the only one in the house so of course I had to yell for/at someone. I held out the evil passport, the betrayer, my hopes dashed. She said not to worry, she'd find out how to expedite it since she'd had to do that before.

The phone call she made left me feeling like a baby, an onlooker. I should have been making the call, taking care of my own problem yet my 23-year-old daughter was calmly handling the woman on the other end who told Amy I NEEDED TO SHOW UP IN AURORA, COLORADO, SAN FRANCISCO OR TUCSON to get my new passport. THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING - ARRRRGGGHHHHH! I explain through tears to her I can't leave the state - it's end of semester, I'm interviewing and hiring new students in the newsroom and doing final grades, I'm moving grandma from Stonehenge to home next week - I can't take a day trip!

I called Riley and wailed, we can't go to France - my passport is expired. Even as I'm saying it I'm planning how to get it renewed in time but the swell of improbability swallows me up and I have to be dramatic. It's ridiculous. He is sympathetic and says to call Lorie, our travel agent at BYU. I call her, knowing she won't answer because she NEVER answers - I always have to leave a message.

She answers.

I explain my dilemma. Oh, she says, there's this great place in Salt Lake. You just have to take your old passport and two passport photos to them. It's a bit expensive, she says. Anything - I'll pay whatever, I tell her. I think aloud - I'll need to get those photos somewhere. She says, just come in to my office, we take them here. I am silently thanking my lucky stars for her, for my calm daughter who got the ball rolling, for the company in SL that's going to charge me a bundle and for a Heavenly Father who planted a tiny seed in my head to GO LOOK AT THE PASSPORTS! Imagine if I hadn't looked until the day of our trip. Horrors.

So, on Monday I will drive to Salt Lake, pay Travel Brokers several hundred dollars, and hopefully have my renewed passport before April 14 when we hopefully leave for Paris.

It was a harrowing experience. Amy commented, well mom, if you didn't have 40,000 people's lives to look after right now (OK, she exaggerated a bit), you might have thought to look at your passport. It's true. I am overextended a bit. I really need this getaway, if for nothing else than to clear my mind and come home to take it all on again.

Thursday, March 25, 2010

A charmed day

I love it when all the planets align and karma kicks in providing a charmed day. Although I took my mom to the wrong doctor's office (he used to be there), I got her to her doctor on time and he was proud of her for her knee being in such good shape. After leaving her at Stonehenge (the rehab center), I went to Walgreen's where I bought $56 worth of stuff and only paid $40 because of coupons. Then I drove through Wendy's where I cashed in a free hamburger coupon, paying zip, and went through the drive-thru at McDonald's where I got a free fruit smoothie. Even all the traffic lights were green or turning green as I approached them today. Riley and I had a nice, free dinner at the Bean Museum and I learned about lemurs in Madagascar at an interesting lecture.

Very nice day. Charmed.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Thoughts on a Wednesday

1) Where did March go?
2) I'm glad my mom is doing better.
3) I went to the temple last night and received insight.
4) We're meeting with a financial consultant today. That makes me feel old.
5) Riley and I leave for Paris three weeks from today - wahoo!!!
6) I need to go exercise this morning. My little effort at Pilates helps me feel good.
7) Stella, my cat, woke me up this morning by biting and licking my fingers.
8) I miss Andrea. She's traveling around Utah during Spring Break.
9) I got to see both Jason and Amy in my office yesterday.
10) I'm happy to be alive.

Friday, March 12, 2010

Where is my mom?

This blog should be fun but now I dread writing anything. I've lost my mother again and wonder when I'll get her back. Her surgery went well but her mind is somewhere between Pasadena and Mars. I just can't figure out why she talks crazy but snaps out of it when I call her on it. I worry the care center is going to kick her out and I'll have to find a new place for her. January and February were wonderful - a nice, normal, low-stress, happy break from the difficult year it's been with her. She is still my best friend but now that I've assumed a parental role, it's just not the same.

Saturday, February 27, 2010

A mom update

I took my mom to the doctor this week. He's the one who gives her shots of hydrocortisone in her left knee so she can walk until it hurts again. He has warned her that she would probably need to get it replaced. That day has come. Her knee is bone-on-bone and the femur is shifted about an inch. It looks painful and I know it is for my mom.

We've had a good couple of months since she got home from the rehab center in December. She loves living in her home and the caregivers Matt and Alyssa are wonderful to have there. She also has Melanie and Amber, two women who come in when Matt and Alyssa can't be there. They read to her, take her to Wendy's, clean and keep her company. It's been so ideal but I've been holding my breath to see how long the magic would last.

She will have surgery on March 8, Riley's birthday. The hope is that she will be in the hospital for three days, rehab for 10 and then go home to recuperate. She had her right knee replaced about 15 years ago and she remembers the horrible pain she had with that. The doctor says it won't be so bad this time - we hope he's right.

I worry about her and for her. She has aged a lot in the past year. Her eyesight stinks and she loses words. She doesn't like either of those conditions. I'm selfish and want to keep her here but I know the day will come when she will need to be freed from an aged, aching body. I just need to remember it's the Lord's will, not mine.

Friday, February 19, 2010

Burst of energy

Late-night burst of energy in 25 minutes:
Cleaned out the fridge - threw icky-looking stuff away (composted actually)
Loaded the dishwasher
Took out the trash and recycling
Wiped down the cupboards
Put the pans away
Paid some bills
Cleaned up the living room
Put shoes away
Updated blog

Where did this come from? When will it return? Did an alien entity inhabit my body for a short time? Perhaps it is in anticipation of spending hours getting my mother's taxes ready to send off tomorrow. Now I have fewer distractions and can possibly get them ready!

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

New blog background!

Andrea went hunting for something Oz-ish to re-do my very boring looking blog page. First she found some wild brightly colored poppies that made my eyes bug out and would have hurt anyone's eyes who looked at it. Then she found some nice clouds against a blue sky but it felt too busy and not enough Oz-ish. You can see what we settled on - rolling emerald green hills against a stormy yet blue-ish sky and a lovely rainbow. Subtle yet thought-provoking in so many ways. Thanks for sending me over the rainbow. Soon I will overcome my trepidation about putting a picture on my page. Soon.

Sunday, January 31, 2010

Worried about young women of the church

This morning I attended the training meeting for three different wards holding ward conference today. My calling is in stake Young Women and I love being a part of this organization. Our stake president, James Wilson, gave a sobering thought in his message to us today. He said 30-40 percent of young women are not active in the church once they reach the age of 25. He said leaders need to take a more active role in letting young women know they are accepted and loved. But they also need a strong testimony to help them when they are faced with challenges that would veer them even a little off the path. It hurts my heart. To willingly lose something so precious is unthinkable.

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

PARIS!

We're going to PARIS! Ooh, la, la, la, la, la! It's real because we now have tickets. We don't usually go anywhere abroad unless there is some conference, research or picking up a missionary tied to it. This trip is a wish that also happens to be on my "what I want to do in life" list that I wrote back in 1997 - go to Paris, see the Eiffel Tower, the Louvre - Mona Lisa, and the Arc de Triomphe. Riley will still do some research while we're there, going to the Natural Museum, taking photos for his class and lab guide, but the trip will celebrate my 50th birthday on April 29 (I'm not really that old ...) and our 30th anniversary on June 12. We are going to do our homework and figure out how to see cool things and save money at the same time. I'M GOING TO FRANCE! I need to pinch myself.

Saturday, January 23, 2010

The key to happiness

I'm pretty sure I've found the key to happiness. Giving. Service. Thinking of others. Really, can you think of anything else that compares? There are things in life that are fun and exciting - seeing new countries, rappelling, snowmobiling and hot air balloon rides. There are the delicious - cocoa with whipped cream, Hawaiian pizza, clam chowder and chocolate (Not together). Some things are just plain comfortable - sitting by a fire with a good book, a worn-out pair of jeans, soaking in a hot tub or sleeping without setting an alarm. These all bring about happy feelings but I think the best happiness comes from making a casserole for the food kitchen, helping at a funeral lunch, giving things away on freecycle to someone who needs it more, donating to help in Haiti. I like the feelings I get when I indulge in a good dark chocolate or snowmobile across the white expanse but it just doesn't measure up to the satisfaction of helping someone else.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

SHHHHHhhhhhhhh!

The last time I said I had some time on my hands I was made Relief Society president the following week. That was in 2001. Maybe that's the last time I felt I had time on my hands. So maybe I shouldn't even say it, or write it. I might be jinxing myself into some big time-consuming project if I say it. So I'll whisper it. I have some time on my hands. It seems odd. But I know what to attribute it to - my mother's new situation - her newfound health and the caregivers we hired to live with her.

During this past year, especially the last six months, I remember praying for certain things - for my mom to get better, that we could find help for her -- but I didn't count on all the extra blessings - the peace of mind, knowing she is not alone, the reduced burden of so many tasks that need attention at her house. I still take care of her finances, taxes, mail and bills, order her meds, talk to and take her to her doctors, buy some of her household items, take her to her hair appointment and other things. But the caregivers shop for her groceries, cook her meals, clean, do her laundry, help her with exercises, help her shower and dress, take care of her hearing aids and many other things. They have seamlessly filled in, taking over things I used to do.

It doesn't mean I don't go see my mom or that I don't want to - it's wonderful to be around her now that she isn't hurting as much and now that she is enjoying life again. And when I do spend time with her it's quality time - not working at keeping things up at her house. But the side effect is I get to spend so much more time in my own home - I have piles of things in corners that have been neglected for months, or longer. I've gone through them, organized, put things away, finished projects, started new ones. I've been able to read, exercise and get in the hot tub, which usually sits unused. I've been able to have breakfast with friends, play games with my daughters, watch movies with Riley, volunteer in the ward and spend more time on my calling. I hesitate to put this out there - it makes me nervous to have it be so good. But I'll take it as long as it lasts. And I'll get as much done as time allows, until I have to step it up again.