After the hubbub

It's funny to think the hubbub of April is over. Or that it's ever over. There's more coming this weekend - family staying here, hopefully a birthday party for two Parkers, Amy and Todd's reception, a dinner with my brother's family on Sunday. I guess I like hubbubs. I like quiet times too but I feel most content and satisfied after experiencing a get-together or tackling a bunch of jobs in a couple days' time.

I like lists. I like writing things down, looking forward to getting them done and crossing them off when completed. I'm antsy. I can't sit still for too long. When there is a to-do list I have something to fill my time - I study the list, find something to accomplish and get 'er done.

I love memories. I love looking forward to creating them. I love being in the middle of creating them and I love thinking back on them.

My list these days include more hubbub - getting ready for it, planning each event, listing what needs to be done. And then the memories will come.

The craziest month

April 2011

1. Coming back from Hawaii (yeah, that's a tough one).
2. Two funerals - family member and friend
3. Jason's 30th birthday and my birthday
4. Taxes due
5. Hiring a new staff at the DU
6. Winter semester ends at the DU, grades are due, semester end details
7. Spring semester starts, hire new staff and train them, train new reporters, do all semester start-up details
8. Graduation for Todd and Amy
9. A graduation brunch for Todd, Amy and Andrea
10. Jason and Brandy flying in
11. A bridal shower luncheon for Amy
12. Baby blessings
13. Taking care of my mom while her caregivers are away (graduation/wedding weekend)
14. Cleaning the little apartment for Todd and Amy to move into. Freecycling two couches, a file cabinet, a bed and other items.
15. Taking stuff to DI from our house/mom's house
16. Taking mom/grandma to two doctors - one for headaches, one for foot problem
17. Easter breakfast with out of town Wheeler kids
18. Easter dinner at Todd's mom's
19. WEDDING!
20. Wedding luncheon
21. Putting Jason and Brandy back on a plane
22. End of semester award ceremony for my students/DU employees
23. Yearly scholarship lunch with comms students
24. End of year award ceremony for Todd
25. Yearly Bean Museum women's luncheon
26. Cleaning mom/grandma's yard for ward to haul stuff off
27. Making wedding reception invitation list, graduation brunch invitation list, bridal shower invitation list
28. Doing food for grad brunch, bridal shower, Easter breakfast
29. Serving in the nursery, helping in the Primary, going to regional camp Shalom meetings
30. Going to the temple
31. Taking care of mom/grandma
32. Taking care of regular life at the Nelson house
33. Getting Andrea's car fixed
34. Trying to get dent in our car fixed
35. Getting garden ready to plant
36. Visiting doctor for several health issues
37. Visiting teaching my two young women
38. Little Lincoln's FIRST birthday - party, party, party!
39. Reserving a rubber room at the state mental hospital


I will not only survive, I will enjoy this month and make wonderful memories to think back on!

Really over the rainbow!

Riley and I are in Hawaii. Or on Hawaii, to be exact. We are on the big island of Hawaii for nine days. We only have four days left. Time flies when you're in paradise. We've seen at least six rainbows since we've been here. Real ones. All the license plates have them too but I'm only counting the ones that rise up from the island into the clouds, some with colors more intense than others.

We've seen many other things while we've been here - whales and dolphins in the ocean, turtles and dolphins in the hotel's lagoon, mongeese (plural of mongoose) - little ferret-like animals that look at you and scurry away, wild turkeys and skinny feral cats who have wonky eyes and might want to kill you. We've seen para-sailers, surfers, yachts and kayaks. And helicopters - which we will go up in on Saturday. I'm a little nervous about this but I will swallow my nervousness, take a Dramamine and hope for the best.

We have four days left - we are going to see a lot more of this island and hopefully see a rainbow as we head east, back to our other end of the rainbow.

Riley at the speed limit

Riley is 55 today. I met him when he was 23. He was kind of skinny, kind of nerdy and wore Chukkah boots. Within 10 months of meeting Riley, I married him. That was not the plan when I moved to Logan in the fall of 1979 but Heavenly Father had other ideas. He knew Riley would be my perfect match. Thirty-two years later I wholeheartedly agree. I told him the other day I could probably count on one hand (OK, maybe one hand and a couple more fingers) how many times I've been mad at him. We just get along. We value each other's perspective. We trust each other. We allow each other to be and do whatever we choose, a part of that trust. We don't keep score. If something needs to be done, it gets done. Sometimes he unloads the dishwasher or mends a shirt. Sometimes I take the trash cans to the curb or fix a loose hinge. Yet we know we can ask each other for help and we'll get it.

Today I'm thankful for Winston and Aileen Nelson, Riley's parents. Thank you for bringing Riley into the world. Thank you Heavenly Father for setting us up (it's a long story but He really did). Thank you Riley for the best 32 years. I gave Riley a pair of Chukkah boots for his birthday today. I hope he wanders the earth in them for the next 32 years. And we have all of eternity after that.

Randomness

Random things that have made my life interesting lately:

1) I love Riley. I decided to give him a word puzzle to figure out for Valentine's. Each day for 10 days in his lunch I gave him a word on a purple heart. The words were "of," "heart," "my," "only," etc. On the 10th day he had all the words. I had taped a big white paper in his office that said "Dear Riley" at the top and "Love, Kaye" at the bottom. He had to put the purple hearts in the middle and figure it out. After a bit of figuring he got it: "Of all people on earth, only you hold my heart." We also just celebrated our engagement anniversary - 31 years ago on Feb. 7 Riley asked me to marry him. I usually work on Monday nights but I switched so I could fix us a nice dinner which we ate by candlelight in the sunroom. Our tradition is that I hand him my rings, he asks me to marry him, I say yes and he slips my rings back on. Then we watched a movie together. I like keeping our love alive by doing crazy, thoughtful things.

2) My niece Loni and her husband Matt had twins - a boy and a girl - Chase and Chloe. I haven't seen them yet but it starts an adventure for them that I experienced firsthand. I love being a twin. Kelly and I had such a fun childhood - we never lacked for a friend. I hope Chase and Chloe will be as close as we were.

3) My great-aunt Madge died last week. I probably knew her when I was a little kid but I hadn't had any contact with her for years. About four years ago I was interested in hearing stories about my Wheeler grandparents and great-grandparents. My uncle Kent Wheeler, my dad's brother, told me to talk to Bea, Madge and Shirley, my great-aunts. My mom, Kent, Shirley and I drove to Salt Lake and picked up Bea, then drove to Madge's in Ogden where we had a nice lunch and spent the afternoon listening to them talk about childhood memories. I used a recorder to record their stories and took pictures. I've kept in touch with these wonderful ladies and love them dearly. Bea is now 100, almost 101. Madge was 97 and Shirley is about 88. I'm so glad I was able to connect with them, hear stories of my ancestors and have them in my life right now.

4) We have tickets for Hawaii! Riley has meetings on the big island the end of March and I'm going with. We hope to see lava from volcanoes, waterfalls and whales off the coast. It will be a welcome break in the middle of winter, although by then it might even be spring.

5) We have new members of the family - the Smith family. Todd's mom Debby, siblings and others are quickly becoming part of us and we already love them, as we do Todd. Amy picked an amazing guy and he comes with a wonderful family. We were strangers just a few months ago and now we are knitting our families together.

6) Our bishop said something on Sunday that was helpful to me. He said adversity and happiness are not mutually exclusive. We can have both. I have to compartmentalize the things that cause me grief and deal with them when I can, probably because I'd rather focus on what brings happiness to my life. I'm glad the good outweighs the bad.

New Year's resolutions

I only have two:

1) Waste less food. That means cooking less, eating up leftovers before they go bad and making use of things like the ends of celery.
2) Write one thank-you note every week. Find someone during the week who has touched me in some way and thank them in a hand-written, snail mail note.

OK, one more. I want to add pictures to my blog. We'll see how that goes.

A good approach to Christmas

So, I'm 50 years old. I've learned a few things in my trips around the block and some of them involve Christmas. There were years I got caught up in the madness, made innumerable plates of goodies for neighbors, started shopping in July - hiding presents all over the house and then buying more because I didn't write down everything on my never-ending list, made sure my three kids had the same number of presents to open, sometimes hovering around 20-25, sent hundreds of Christmas cards, all with a hand-written greetings on them and decorated every corner of the house with some Christmas-y knickknack, all of which had to be boxed up and put away just days after Christmas.

Over the years I got smart. Here are ways I enjoy Christmas without all the hassle:

1) I don't start buying until after Thanksgiving. No, I don't shop on Black Friday. That's part of the madness and I want no part of it. I shop online or in stores gradually collecting items before Dec. 24.
2) I don't buy tons of stuff. I think about a few things each of my kids and Riley would like and buy them. Think about it. If you give your kids 20 items to open (or even 10, 15 ...) they are really only going to remember maybe 2-3 of their favorite gifts. So give them 2-3 things. Then they'll remember all of them. (And the byproduct is less stress, less bills, less wrapping, less stuff to store, break, step over, pick up, etc. PLUS being able to reinforce the real meaning of Christmas which has nothing to do with piles of stuff!) C'mon - are underwear or socks really a "gift"?
3) My Christmas greetings are sent online, except for about 15 to people who don't have internet. They are all over 80. It took me about 30 minutes to send 157 emails yesterday with a letter attached that I had written a couple of weeks ago.
4) Neighbor gifts. Hmmm. I still like to give these but to a select few. And I don't think that just because someone brings a goodie or gift to your door you MUST reciprocate. It's not a contest and it doesn't have to be fair - tit for tat. If anyone is keeping score and you don't get a treat the next year, oh well. Less sugary treats.
5) I also don't get out all the Christmas decor. Some years we have just a Wizard of Oz tree. Those ornaments are in their own box so they are easy to get out. Some years I put all the family salt dough ornaments on (like this year). And there are select items around the house that are familiar and I love. But there are way more full boxes of Christmas stuff in storage during the holidays than there are empty ones. The one thing that must be set up is the nativity scene. It was my grandparents and I inherited it when they both died. It's wonderful and I should really keep it out all year.

So the past few days, in between stops to pick up a few last minute items, I've read, soaked in the hot tub, watched the birds in the bird feeder, had breakfast with friends, taken stuff to DI, helped a sub-for-Santa family, watched several movies, had long phone calls with family and friends and slept. I spent the entire day in my pajamas a couple days ago! Yes, this is Christmas. Christ gave us the gifts of family, time on earth and His gospel. He is the gift.