My Mother's Last Days, August 9, 2015

I haven't written for a few weeks. I went to girls' camp and got out of the habit. My mom is in my thoughts every day though.

Yesterday I was at her house in Springville. Amy and Wolf were there and we were continuing the job of moving everything out of closets and rooms to one main area where we can sort and get things ready to sell. I washed a zillion pieces of glass. Amy stacked a zillion sweatshirts and sweaters into various piles. My mom liked things and yet she nurtured relationships. I know relationships trumps things, hands down, in my mom's book.

Wolf got tired and needed to be rocked. There isn't a rocking chair in the house so I went to the front porch and sat in my mom's blue rocking chair where I'd sat many times over the years. I rocked a baby boy and sang to him. As I gazed out over the yard and the big tree I began to cry. This little boy won't know his wonderful great-grandma. He won't get to run through the yard or climb the big tree we all climbed as kids. He won't get to run through the screen door, hearing it bang behind him like we did. My heart aches for the loss of my mother and she's still here. The house isn't the same without her and yet it holds so many memories and so much promise for the next family who will live there. I wish it could be us or one of our kids but it can't. We have to let it go. We have to let my mom go. We can hang on to memories and make new ones, different ones that don't involve a big tree or a blue rocker. It will be hard but Heavenly Father is helping every step of the way.