Many times in the past couple of years I've been inundated with frustration and stress. Problems were coming in more than the dreaded "threes" and I was drowning. In addition, I had family members and friends struggling with difficulties in their own lives. I have a hard time knowing someone is suffering. I am a problem solver and a peacemaker and I want to fix things. So I internalize and worry about others' problems too.
About six years ago my mom had started having severe back pain. I took her to doctor after doctor, experimented with and tweaked many pain medications, took her to have epidurals in her spine and yet she remained in almost constant pain. It was hard for her to bear and hard for me to watch her live with it. I spent many sleepless nights trying to solve her problems and I watched her change from a fun, vibrant, happy woman to a sad, hurting woman. One day she was very emotional about it and so was I and I thought about this section in the Doctrine and Covenants. I read it to her - it is the Lord's response to Joseph Smith when he was a prisoner in Liberty Jail and he was despairing over his situation. Mom and I talked about verse 8 - that Christ has known every pain, suffering, stress, agony, frustration and despair and because He has, He can lift us. He can understand anything we are going through. I'm not sure it helped my mom much because of her intense pain and things got worse with her having a stroke not long after the back issues but I remembered it last year when I was feeling so bogged down by worry and difficulty. I read it, understood it better than I ever have and then wrote my own version, drawn from experiences of people I love and from my own experiences:
If thou art called to lose the ability to stand; if thou art given financial troubles; if thou must lose a daughter or son to death; if thou lose thy job; if thy children stray from the gospel; if terrible wrecks and bodily injuries afflict thee or thy family; if enemies or even loved ones hurt or offend thee; if illness afflict thy body or mind; if old age come upon thee and rob thee of natural abilities; if household plumbing or electrical or foundation or roofing or appliance problems plague thee; if drought consumes thy lawns; if floods rage and tear down roads and gulleys; if fires threaten a beloved cabin; if thieves steal and plunder and effort must be made to restore belongings; if children make choices that are painful and against their upbringing and the way of truth and light; if insurance companies throw wrenches in coverage that cause many hours of phone calls and stress; if memory is dimmed and questions are repeated over and over; if beloved animals pass away; if pain afflicts thy back and bunions afflict thy feet and diarrhea afflicts thy bowels, know thou, my son or daughter, that all these things shall give thee experience and shall be for thy good. The Son of Man hath descended below them all. Art thou greater than he?
Therefore, hold on thy way, and the priesthood shall remain with thee; for their bounds are set, they cannot pass. Thy days are known, and thy years shall not be numbered less; therefore, fear not what man can do, for God shall be with you forever and ever.
Section 122 is personal to Joseph Smith and what he was going through in 1839. My version is personal to me and verses 8 and 9 give me hope. They help me understand that Christ has suffered far beyond what I will ever suffer. Even more than that, He is there to help me with my suffering. Others can help by saying nice things or even doing tasks that take some of the load off and I appreciate those who do that because it truly does help. But Christ can lift my heart. He can give me new resolve to face what is ahead. He has internalized my pain and suffering and can minimize it for me if I will listen and obey. He has done it for me and He has done it for every person I know and don't know. It's a gift that we should never put on a shelf. The Atonement is real and meaningful in my life.
I know there will be things that come in the future that will frustrate me, probably to the point of tears. But I will not despair because of this very personal version of section 122. I'm grateful to have been inspired to write it and I hope to refer to it often to be reminded of Christ's love and sacrifice for me. And for you.
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