A good approach to Christmas

So, I'm 50 years old. I've learned a few things in my trips around the block and some of them involve Christmas. There were years I got caught up in the madness, made innumerable plates of goodies for neighbors, started shopping in July - hiding presents all over the house and then buying more because I didn't write down everything on my never-ending list, made sure my three kids had the same number of presents to open, sometimes hovering around 20-25, sent hundreds of Christmas cards, all with a hand-written greetings on them and decorated every corner of the house with some Christmas-y knickknack, all of which had to be boxed up and put away just days after Christmas.

Over the years I got smart. Here are ways I enjoy Christmas without all the hassle:

1) I don't start buying until after Thanksgiving. No, I don't shop on Black Friday. That's part of the madness and I want no part of it. I shop online or in stores gradually collecting items before Dec. 24.
2) I don't buy tons of stuff. I think about a few things each of my kids and Riley would like and buy them. Think about it. If you give your kids 20 items to open (or even 10, 15 ...) they are really only going to remember maybe 2-3 of their favorite gifts. So give them 2-3 things. Then they'll remember all of them. (And the byproduct is less stress, less bills, less wrapping, less stuff to store, break, step over, pick up, etc. PLUS being able to reinforce the real meaning of Christmas which has nothing to do with piles of stuff!) C'mon - are underwear or socks really a "gift"?
3) My Christmas greetings are sent online, except for about 15 to people who don't have internet. They are all over 80. It took me about 30 minutes to send 157 emails yesterday with a letter attached that I had written a couple of weeks ago.
4) Neighbor gifts. Hmmm. I still like to give these but to a select few. And I don't think that just because someone brings a goodie or gift to your door you MUST reciprocate. It's not a contest and it doesn't have to be fair - tit for tat. If anyone is keeping score and you don't get a treat the next year, oh well. Less sugary treats.
5) I also don't get out all the Christmas decor. Some years we have just a Wizard of Oz tree. Those ornaments are in their own box so they are easy to get out. Some years I put all the family salt dough ornaments on (like this year). And there are select items around the house that are familiar and I love. But there are way more full boxes of Christmas stuff in storage during the holidays than there are empty ones. The one thing that must be set up is the nativity scene. It was my grandparents and I inherited it when they both died. It's wonderful and I should really keep it out all year.

So the past few days, in between stops to pick up a few last minute items, I've read, soaked in the hot tub, watched the birds in the bird feeder, had breakfast with friends, taken stuff to DI, helped a sub-for-Santa family, watched several movies, had long phone calls with family and friends and slept. I spent the entire day in my pajamas a couple days ago! Yes, this is Christmas. Christ gave us the gifts of family, time on earth and His gospel. He is the gift.

A special day

Amy has a beautiful ring on her finger. More importantly she has a wonderful fiance! These two characters are quite the match. They met in one of Amy's classes last January where Todd Smith was a TA. They became friends but couldn't date because he was grading students' work. So they waited until class was over in April. Or almost. They quickly became inseparable and on Nov. 11 he asked if he could come and talk to Riley. I loved hearing him say he had "fallen" in love with Amy and wanted to marry her. The fun part was, she didn't know he was talking to Riley and led her to believe, for a few days, that he still needed to do that so a proposal wasn't imminent.

They had picked out a ring together but she didn't think he had picked it up. He hadn't. Because he was so busy he had his mom in Bountiful pick it up from Salt Lake for him and drive it down for a hand off in American Fork. On Monday, Nov. 15, amidst all the craziness of classes, projects and work, he led her on a scavenger hunt for "dinner" because she had done that for him in the summer. She was oblivious there was more to the evening than just dinner because he surprised her with a song and a down-on-one knee proposal. She texted me, "YOU ARE SO SNEAKY!"

She might be walking on clouds but this mom is too. Prayers have been answered for sweet Amy. And we couldn't have picked a better man for her to marry. He's the real deal.

10 years

My dad died 10 years ago today at 9:10 a.m. I was with him when he died. So was my mom. She sang, "there is sunshine in your soul today," changing the words a bit here and there. It was a peaceful, spiritual moment to see him pass. He had suffered for 19 months, paralyzed from a snowmobile accident April 12, 2009. He didn't like life much during those 19 months but in the last day or two of his life, he told me he had to just be ok with what he could do and not be so upset about what he couldn't. I believe once he showed he had learned that he was then allowed to leave his earthly existence.

I love my dad. He was a great man. He taught me many wonderful things like how to work - weed the garden, mow the lawn, fix things using any kind of tool and problem solve. He taught me how to play - snowmobile, waterski, play HORSE (basketball), put together jigsaw puzzles, play nertz. He knew a lot and was an authority on many things. He was an avid reader. He created beautiful wood-carved treasures. He got tickled at himself when he surprised someone with something he'd made and saw their reaction.

While things didn't turn out the way I wanted them to with my dad (I moved here from Texas thinking we'd build things, snowmobile, etc. but he got hurt before we got here), I had some treasured moments with him in his last 19 months. We had conversations we would never have had because we were thrown together, me caring for him. There were no work or play distractions, just talking.

I'm thankful for my dad. I'm thankful I was with him when he died. I'm thankful for everything he taught me. I miss you dad.

Happy Birthday Aileen

Today is a lovely woman's birthday - Aileen Larsen Nelson, my mother-in-law. She's been gone for 24 years and I only knew her for about seven years but I will be eternally grateful she and Winston brought my wonderful husband Riley into the world. He, like I, is the baby of his family - Randy, Rick and Riley - the three boys. He had a wonderful childhood. So did I. He treasures the gospel. So do I. He has a crazy streak. I am very quiet and shy. Heh heh. We have the same work ethic, sense of adventure and love of life. A match made in Logan. Or Brigham City.

My first memory of Aileen came several weeks after Riley and I started dating. It was the first weekend of October 1979. Riley and I were living in Logan, he in the downstairs apartment of a duplex, me upstairs. We met the first day I drove into the complex on Darwin Avenue in my red CJ5 Jeep with white pinstripes, two gas tanks and an 8-track player (I loved that jeep). We soon started hanging out a lot and he invited me to go stay at his house in Brigham City for the weekend. The weekend's activities would include going to his mission reunion and dinner Friday night, duck hunting Saturday (oh, joy) and going to general conference Sunday where he would translate conference talks into Tahitian. We pulled up in front of the Nelson house at 211 North 300 West in Brigham City that Friday afternoon. We went in and I met his mom: tiny woman, big smile, gray hair piled in a bun on her head and big ball hangy earrings. We chatted a bit, then Riley's dad got home and we met. He was probably dressed in a jumpsuit (his standard outfit), had gray hair and '50s style men's glasses - you know, the ones with the heavy black frames. They were both happy to meet me and I them.

Riley took off to talk tools or ducks or whatever with his dad. I was left with Aileen. I'm not sure how long we were downstairs before she said something like, "come upstairs and I'll show you some things ..." Those "things" were kept in a hope chest (her hope, I think) and were baby booties she'd made for Riley's future children and a temple apron for Riley's future wife. While I was a little shocked she was showing me these things the first time I met her, the wheels were already turning in my head that he just might be the one. Anyway, I ended up with them about ten months later. The bigger prize, of course, was Riley, but I got a pretty good deal in the end, apron, booties, mother- and father-in-law, the Nelson name, and now, at this point, 30 years of fun and happiness.

Thanks Aileen and Happy Birthday. I love you. I'm glad you didn't scare me off.

10 things I love about fall

Fall is not my favorite season. I think summer and spring rank above it a bit. But I do love fall and here are some of the reasons why:

1) I love the smell in the house when I turn the furnace on for the first time - kind of a dust burning smell. I know, weird.
2) Getting my warm clothes out. I love turtlenecks, vests and cardigans.
3) Crunching dead leaves. I like the sound.
4) The colors of the leaves on the mountain - the brilliant reds, yellows and oranges have got to be one of God's greatest thought processes brought to life.
5) Halloween decorations. I don't decorate much at my house anymore but anything with ghosts, pumpkins and black cats are fun. I don't like the bloody, crazy stuff, not that it's scary - it's just not fun to look at.
6) Soups and stews. I love clam chowder, squash soup, chicken noodle soup, beef stew, split pea soup ... mmmmm. And fall is the best time for them. With cornbread or big fluffy rolls.
7) The crispness of the morning air. While I know this is a precursor for really cold morning air in a few months, I do love the chill in the air in the morning.
8) Fuzzy blankets. You just can't curl up in the summertime with a fuzzy blanket to read, watch TV, whatever. But you can in the fall. I love my fuzzy blankets.
9) Slippers. Same as No. 8 - can't wear them in summer but love them in the fall.
10) Thoughts of holiday fun. I'm not ready for Christmas or even Thanksgiving but I like to think ahead a little to make tentative plans. And just the thought of eating a full turkey dinner makes my stomach smile, even today when it's not at it's happiest.

Goodbye old van

We bought a one-year old blue (sort of purplish) van in 1997 from our friends the Kriese's when we lived in Texas. It was a wonderful car. It had a nice speaker system, power everything, a little gauge that said how many miles we could go on the gas in the tank and what the temperature outside was. It seated seven and the rear seats could come out. It had all kinds of drink holders and nook and crannies. I loved that van.

We went on many adventures in our van - to Nauvoo with our friends the Pearces, Parkers and Hodgkins. Up through Texas, Minida, (Mt. Ida), Ark., Liberty, Blue Springs and Far West, Missouri, Iowa, Illinois - Nauvoo and Carthage, and back down through Hannibal, St. Louis and Muskogee, Oklahoma. Each place as well as the drive up and back holds special memories, all experienced in our blue van.

We drove it to Houston and Corpus Christi for fun with friends. We took trips to Utah, one in the dead of winter where the gauge went to 13 degrees below 0 - the lowest it had ever been. We got a flat tire in Monticello on our return trip and had to stay overnight, putting us behind in our trip and making us miss Mesa Verde (which Riley and I finally visited summer of 09.) We hauled tile, lumber, groceries, kids, cats, turtles, fish and spiders. The critters rode with us from Austin to Utah when we moved here. The Parkers welcomed all of us, even the furry ones, into their Colorado home for an overnight stay on our long journey to a new home.

I have pictures of the odometer turning over 55,555 miles in the drive through of a McDonald's on William Cannon in Austin. That was about 115,000 miles ago!

It's funny how an inanimate object can become a member of your family. That van didn't cause much grief in the repair department. We had a few things here and there to fix but overall, it was a trustworthy, solid car. And Riley thinks it was the best, most comfortable ride of any of our vehicles. It was smooth.

For the past year or so it has sat mostly undriven. When we bought Riley's Tacoma two years ago, I took over the Highlander. I tried to sell the van back then but with a tanked economy no one wanted a van with so many miles on it. Amy drove the van quite a bit but finally it started sitting more than being driven. Then, in August, Amy drove it and the AC died. We debated on fixing it - $1,100. We weren't sure we could even sell it for that much if we fixed so we decided to give it to the Kidney Foundation (like we have several other cars.) In a last ditch effort, I thought, let's try to sell it. Our mechanic friend Paul suggested $800 so I put a sign on it last Saturday. Fifteen minutes later someone called and wanted to see it. Paul said, oh, oh, maybe you could have gotten more for it. But then we sold it to people we knew through Amy's high school friends and they said what a blessing it was they were getting it for that price. We could have used a few more hundred dollars but they needed the blessing of the car even more.

And so it's done. The van is theirs. I hope they enjoy it and have as many wonderful memories in it as we did.

Being grateful for big things and I'm not dead yet

I went to the ER Friday, writhing with pain in my chest. It was a scary feeling, thinking I was having a heart attack and might die. I'd had chest pains before including the two weeks leading up to Friday. I was supposed to have a stress treadmill test at 10 a.m. that morning but the pain vetoed my appointment and sent me to the hospital instead. I was quickly cared for and given morphine, a lovely drug. I settled down after a few minutes and wondered why a horse was pushing on the back of my leg with its teeth. Very annoying. I also watched the clock get to 9 a.m., missed 9:10 and saw 9:15. I told Riley I didn't have to die now. He didn't understand. I told him my dad and niece Stacie both died at 9:10 a.m. and the bus had left so I didn't have to get on it.

Throughout the 11 hours we were at the ER they blood work, x-rays, an EKG, a CatScan, and an ultrasound. They weren't finding any heart problems which was good news but I didn't imagine the pain - it was like an elephant was standing on my chest, just like heart attack patients describe. They wanted to go ahead with the treadmill test but I had to wait for something to come down from Salt Lake so we didn't get started until around 4:30 p.m. I hadn't eaten or had a drink all day (except one I sneaked early on) so I was feeling pretty puny, as they say in Texas. Yet I endured one more test - radioactive gunk pumped in my arm, laying in a machine unmoving for 13 minutes, walking then running for 11 minutes to get my heart rate up (I couldn't go the distance but got it high enough), then laying in the machine again for 15 minutes where Riley said I fell asleep twice. It took until around 7 p.m. to get all the results. The doctor said I have no heart problems which is a huge relief given my grandfather, father and brother all had heart attacks in their 50's and my mom in her 60's. They were concerned about this family history.

They said I have a hiatal hernia but it's small. He also mentioned that stress can contribute to acid in the stomach, building up and causing pain. His suggestions were to take Maalox, lessen the stress in my life and see my regular doctor to possibly see a specialist. Two of those are easy, one, not so easy.

I was worn out from laying in bed all day and going to different areas of the hospital to do all the tests. Poor Riley was worn out too, experiencing sympathy chest pains and having had only two meals during the day. He is such a strength to me and such a calming influence. I love him. It was a rough day for both of us and even though I still have chest pain I know my heart is good. That's a huge blessing and an answer to prayers. (Thanks to my mom and siblings who put my name on prayer rolls in their areas!) Riley had given me a blessing in the middle of the night before we went to the ER to help me calm down and help the doctors figure out the problem.

I'm not a good patient. I don't like not doing anything, hence, I overdo and stress myself out. I wanted to get up and move around, not be tied to machines and the stupid BP cuff that nearly exploded my arm. Then I thought about people I love who are chronically ill and how they deal with medical crap nearly every minute of every day, mostly putting on a happy face while doing so. I felt ashamed that I complained about my day of inconvenience while trying to find the cause of the pain. I know they've endured many days and many tests, more than I'll ever know of.

The pain is still there but I know it's my stomach betraying me, not my heart. It's uncomfortable and Maalox, Tums and Ibuprofen are becoming my new best friends but I can deal with it.

I turned 50 this year. All the things I feel about that are for another blog, another day. But I just want to say I'm not old. I might be falling apart here and there but I'm not going to let the old people problems get me down. We all have to grow old and we can fight it tooth and nail or do it gracefully. I'm going to fight it tooth and nail gracefully.