Worried about young women of the church

This morning I attended the training meeting for three different wards holding ward conference today. My calling is in stake Young Women and I love being a part of this organization. Our stake president, James Wilson, gave a sobering thought in his message to us today. He said 30-40 percent of young women are not active in the church once they reach the age of 25. He said leaders need to take a more active role in letting young women know they are accepted and loved. But they also need a strong testimony to help them when they are faced with challenges that would veer them even a little off the path. It hurts my heart. To willingly lose something so precious is unthinkable.

PARIS!

We're going to PARIS! Ooh, la, la, la, la, la! It's real because we now have tickets. We don't usually go anywhere abroad unless there is some conference, research or picking up a missionary tied to it. This trip is a wish that also happens to be on my "what I want to do in life" list that I wrote back in 1997 - go to Paris, see the Eiffel Tower, the Louvre - Mona Lisa, and the Arc de Triomphe. Riley will still do some research while we're there, going to the Natural Museum, taking photos for his class and lab guide, but the trip will celebrate my 50th birthday on April 29 (I'm not really that old ...) and our 30th anniversary on June 12. We are going to do our homework and figure out how to see cool things and save money at the same time. I'M GOING TO FRANCE! I need to pinch myself.

The key to happiness

I'm pretty sure I've found the key to happiness. Giving. Service. Thinking of others. Really, can you think of anything else that compares? There are things in life that are fun and exciting - seeing new countries, rappelling, snowmobiling and hot air balloon rides. There are the delicious - cocoa with whipped cream, Hawaiian pizza, clam chowder and chocolate (Not together). Some things are just plain comfortable - sitting by a fire with a good book, a worn-out pair of jeans, soaking in a hot tub or sleeping without setting an alarm. These all bring about happy feelings but I think the best happiness comes from making a casserole for the food kitchen, helping at a funeral lunch, giving things away on freecycle to someone who needs it more, donating to help in Haiti. I like the feelings I get when I indulge in a good dark chocolate or snowmobile across the white expanse but it just doesn't measure up to the satisfaction of helping someone else.

SHHHHHhhhhhhhh!

The last time I said I had some time on my hands I was made Relief Society president the following week. That was in 2001. Maybe that's the last time I felt I had time on my hands. So maybe I shouldn't even say it, or write it. I might be jinxing myself into some big time-consuming project if I say it. So I'll whisper it. I have some time on my hands. It seems odd. But I know what to attribute it to - my mother's new situation - her newfound health and the caregivers we hired to live with her.

During this past year, especially the last six months, I remember praying for certain things - for my mom to get better, that we could find help for her -- but I didn't count on all the extra blessings - the peace of mind, knowing she is not alone, the reduced burden of so many tasks that need attention at her house. I still take care of her finances, taxes, mail and bills, order her meds, talk to and take her to her doctors, buy some of her household items, take her to her hair appointment and other things. But the caregivers shop for her groceries, cook her meals, clean, do her laundry, help her with exercises, help her shower and dress, take care of her hearing aids and many other things. They have seamlessly filled in, taking over things I used to do.

It doesn't mean I don't go see my mom or that I don't want to - it's wonderful to be around her now that she isn't hurting as much and now that she is enjoying life again. And when I do spend time with her it's quality time - not working at keeping things up at her house. But the side effect is I get to spend so much more time in my own home - I have piles of things in corners that have been neglected for months, or longer. I've gone through them, organized, put things away, finished projects, started new ones. I've been able to read, exercise and get in the hot tub, which usually sits unused. I've been able to have breakfast with friends, play games with my daughters, watch movies with Riley, volunteer in the ward and spend more time on my calling. I hesitate to put this out there - it makes me nervous to have it be so good. But I'll take it as long as it lasts. And I'll get as much done as time allows, until I have to step it up again.

New Year's Resolutions

In 2007 my resolution was to not buy any new clothes for a year. It was not an easy feat but I did it. Socks and underwear were considered necessities so I bought those but I didn't buy any new clothes or shoes for a whole year. It was a year of learning things about myself regarding shopping. I'm not a shopper anyway but it was fun to start shopping again a year later.

In 2008 I decided not to shop at Wal-Mart. Ever. Again. Hate that place. I kept it up for 2009 so I haven't shopped there since Dec. 27, 2007. I shop at Target and other places. People say Target is more expensive and it is. But it is higher quality. And because things aren't so cheap, I don't buy more of something - "Oh look, there are some neato plastic ladybug placemats at Wal-Mart. Since they're only $.99 I'll buy 24 of them!"

So what to do for 2010? Well, one thing I haven't done much of this year is serve others. I've been so focused on taking care of my mother who has had myriad health problems, that doing nice things for others has taken a back seat. I haven't liked it. In November someone on freecycle needed help with food. Both husband and wife had lost their jobs. I emailed the mom and asked what they needed, then filled that need. It made me feel good and reminded me of what I hadn't been doing.

So that is my resolution. I'm going to start giving more. My mother will still be a recipient for sure, but I've always loved taking treats to neighbors, tending my Parker grandbabies, writing thank-you's to deserving people, and even, on occasion, paying for someone else's groceries in line ahead of me. I like doing things that make me feel good while helping someone else. Because I have been given much, I too must give. That's my resolution. Hope it sticks.

A beautiful day!

I loved Christmas this year more than in year's past. It was unhurried, scaled-back and simple. It had to be that way because Riley's been sick and I've been in charge of creating a schedule of caregivers for my mom for two weeks (and take care of her too, before, during and after Christmas). Those two things alone made me rethink if I really needed to decorate all out (I didn't), give neighbor gifts (I didn't except for a couple), buy a lot of gifts (I didn't and a lot of what I did buy I got online and it came straight to my door) or cook a lot. I didn't need to cook many goodies because of the mound of stuff that came to us from loving friends and neighbors. Next year I'm going to look for a good excuse to scale back again. Maybe that's just a good thing to learn, for whatever reason.

“Maybe Christmas,” he thought, “doesn’t come from a store. Maybe Christmas … perhaps … means a little bit more!” --How the Grinch Stole Christmas

Riley in pain

After a five hour visit to the ER last night it was determined Riley has a kidney stone about the size of New Jersey. It's really 5 mm which is the size of a raised number on a credit card. That's pretty big when you consider where it is and where it has to come out. I don't think men dilate. It's really hard to see him in pain. He rarely takes any kind of medicine and he is rarely sick. So seeing him writhe in pain and pop percocet every four hours is a new experience. The timing of this is sort of fortunate - classes and finals are over, but we have/had plans for Christmas - Park City tomorrow night with college friends, which probably won't happen, dinners here, my mom here for Christmas, the Nelson family here for brunch after Christmas, etc. I hope the little bugger makes his way down and out soon. I named him Spike. I guess he could be Rocky too.